Feeling completely numb

So sorry for your loss. I lost my dear mum 8 years ago and am about to lose my dad. I felt the same as you after losing my mum, like I was in extreme shock. Even though we are expecting it. When it comes it hits so hard. Have you seen a grief wheel ( I think it's called) it shows all the different stages of grief. I believe the first one is shock/ disbelief, denial etc. I felt guilt over so many things I felt I could have done differently, however, your mum wouldn't want you to be ravaged by guilt. You sound like a fantastic, supportive Daughter that many people aren't lucky enough to have and you did your best for her. Be kind to yourself xxx

Hi!

Please don't beat yourself up over this. What you are feeling at this time is normal. I was actually sitting with my husband and never even realised he was gone. I too was sitting listening to the `death rattle` and so aware of it and then I became aware that it had stopped and just thought he had fallen asleep as he was constantly lapsing in and out of consciousness I nudged him and got no response then lifted his hand and it just dropped back down again and it was then I knew he was gone. Everything just went into slow motion after that and everything just felt so surreal like it wasn't happening to me and it was someone else it was happening to. The grief part will come people grieve in different ways. For me 14 months on it is just hitting now. I've past the first year milestone which they say is the worst some nights I will just burst into tears for what feels like no reason but I know now this is what it is and it's as though it is something that I have been waiting for to happen and it now feels like a relief and release. Two months after my husband passed my older sister got a bowel cancer diagnosis but she is recovering well and her's was caught at a very early stage so they were able to just take her into hospital and cut out her tumour which was very small and meant she did not need any post radio or chemotherapy. 

Yes it is possible patients can deteriorate in such a short time. My husband passed on 23rd June 2023 a month before that he was sitting up in bed (he became bedbound in his final months) scrolling through his mobile phone and chatting etc and then one month later he could virtually do nothing and passed in a split second. Just keep coming on here when you feel you need to as we all `get it`.  Be kind to yourself also and if you feel you can try to get some counselling. They can help you here at MacMillan with that and just contact them on their helplines or chat facility. My best wishes to you moving forward. Take Care. 

Vicky x

Thank you Vicky.  It helps to hear xx

You're very welcome Amanda!  Take Care. 

Vicky x

So very sorry for your loss. My mum died on 4th august from incurable lung cancer, diagnosed 1 year ago. She was wrongly diagnosed and was on targeted therapy for 9 months which didn't help and the chemo and immunotherapy were too late and her body couldn't cope. I now have no parents, I'm a single mum and my sister's are in Cornwall. We are loosing our family home as mum rented and on 4th September it returns to the owners who have inherited from the man who owned it.

I feel empty, numb, lost and very, very sad. 

I am not returning to school in September as I need time to process and grief ....

So very sorry for your loss. My mum died on 4th august from incurable lung cancer, diagnosed 1 year ago. She was wrongly diagnosed and was on targeted therapy for 9 months which didn't help and the chemo and immunotherapy were too late and her body couldn't cope. I now have no parents, I'm a single mum and my sister's are in Cornwall. We are loosing our family home as mum rented and on 4th September it returns to the owners who have inherited from the man who owned it.

1. I feel empty, numb, lost and very, very sad. 

I am not returning to school in September as I need time to process and grief .... 

So so sorry to hear that you too have lost your precious mum Helen.  It's the most difficult of roads we're on and I'm finding it harder each day as my mind tries to process it all.  Thank you for sharing.  It helps to know others feel the same.  I'm thinking of you xxx

I’m so sorry for your loss,my heart aches for you, I am currently going through this with my mom, I have no words that will make it easier for you, but remember to be kind to yourself and feel what ever you are feeling. There’s no manual on how to handle such a difficult time in your life (I wish there was) but I’m proud of you! You’re doing amazingly. Here if you need to chat xxxx