Mum died a horrible death

Oh that sounds so distressing for you to witness. Being helpless in such a situation is simply horrible. there will be help out there for you to help process this, i'm not sure i am the right person, but i send sincere and heartfelt hugs and suport your way. 

Oh that is so distressing.  I’m sorry.   I lost my mum yesterday and that was horrendous, I feel people should be eased into peace when they have no chance of life left but instead we make them and their families endure days of really distressing events and loss of dignity.  I know my mum was terrified and that hurts me so much. 

I am so sorry for your loss and it sounds like you had a hard time too all I can say is it’s been a few days now and I guess things are not quite as raw. Still can’t get things out of my head but it’s not all I am thinking about like it was in the first days sending support if you want to talk.

So very sorry for your loss. I lost my mum to cancer, September 2022, she had nine months of hell. You were with your mum helping and loving her until the end and that's all you can think to console yourself. You did all you could but the memory will be there forever. Try to remember your mum in the good times, smiling and happy. That's what she would want.