Only child in 30s lost only parent

Hi J.E.M 

I'm so sorry to read that you have recently lost your mum and everything must feel overwhelming right now.

I don't fit the profile of the person you're looking to connect with but noticed that your post hadn't had any replies yet. Responding to you will 'bump' it back to the top of the discussion list again.

((hugs))

Hi,

il an only child in her mid forties (still feel 28), I lost my dad 4 weeks ago and whilst my is still around I’m picking up a lot of slack and emotional stuff. The guilt and worry making sure she’s ok (I know she’s not) and sorting out dads belongings etc etc. 

it’s hard. And I do worry about the future when she eventually will go too. So worried about being alone (even though I am married with kids). I was so so close to my parents. 

what are you finding the hardest part?

best wishes

Hi there I am so sorry for your loss. I am an only child and lost my father 3 years ago so I had to change my life and leave the military and now I have lost the love of my life two weeks ago and have no children so feel so very alone, I care for my mam and I had to do everything for my father dying and now have just said goodbye to my love and I can’t even get out of bed. I do know how hard it is I was waking up and driving to my mams every morning before I got dressed even, sneaking down at night to check on her at home. I am now struggling so bad with the loss of my partner I’ve never felt pain or loneliness like it. xxxx 

Feeling alone is how I feel so I am so very sorry you feel like this and there’s nothing anyone can say to me to make me not feel alone. I can’t believe this is happening so I feel for you. I was hoping there was maybe groups for help for counselling or chances to meet others I don’t know what I need to get me out of bed. xx

Oh Ruddo, this is so sad to read. The pain you must have must be excruciating. I'm no expert but by the very fact that you are even thinking that you want to get out of bed, gives hope. Can you give yourself permission to be in bed, but aim to be out of it for small amounts of time to go for a walk, or cook a meal. These little steps and breaking things into small tasks might help you put one foot infront of the other?

It might be a start.

you could always talk to your GP too, just to record your feelings right now and then in a few months you will be able to see the progress you will have hopefully made. they can also point you in the direction of counsellors and i think https://www.cruse.org.uk/ might be a good place for you to have a look at.

I am new to grief.I don't know if this helps at all. I am certainly having good days and bad days. I even googled at the weekend when i felt particularly teary and had no mojo "am i grieving or am i just lazy?"!!! It's how i feel i don't enjoy the feeling, but i just could not do anything. I just had to ewait for it to go, and the next day was better.

Take care, and write when you want.