Lost my mom on Saturday

Hi DashHound 

Sorry to hear of your loss, my mother died totally out of the blue and it was only at the autopsy they actually discovered she had cancer and even then that was not what killed her.

There is no right way to grieve but what I found as time went by I came to appreciate more what we had in our years together rather than the bit at the end but then for me she died in 2013.

Perhaps the best advice of all at a time like this is to remember to be kind to yourself and do keep talking it can really help.

<<hugs>>

Steve

Hi DashHound,

I'm so sorry for your loss. My mum fell ill on 31st October, but they didn't confirm it was definitely cancer until 26th Jan. She died on 18th Feb before we'd had a chance to get our heads round any of it.

I totally understand how you feel, for me I've not got to actually grieve for mum properly yet, because I can't get passed what happened in the months before. Watching her go through it all was horrendous so I really appreciate how you must feel.

What I've learnt from this forum is that I'll never get over it, I  just need to find a way to cope with it somehow, and thats my struggle at the moment. 

Talking and sharing with others who've been through similar situations does help, so don't be alone, happy to offer support wherever I can.

Give yourself time, everyone's journey is different but it will likely be a long one.

Sending hugs and strength your way. 

Thank you, Steve. I hope it was peaceful when she passed but it didn't look it and it makes me upset. 

Every day is a struggle to get through and I miss her so much already. 

Thank you for your response. 

The decline was really difficult to see. It's all just so much to deal with. 

I can imagine and it is too much. It's too soon to try and get your head round it, for now, just try taking the day in 10 minute chunks, a little at a time to try and help you through.x

Appreciate it. I keep having little naps. Just to calm myself. 

Naps are a great idea and also when things feel overwhelming, focus on your breaths for a few mins, nothing else, just breathing in and out, it helps with the calming.x