My beautiful incredible godmother passed away in January, they gave us 12 months but she was gone in 6 months :( I’m really struggling with grief, other family members have hit quite a significant depression and feel that we have to keep a close eye on them and there is no room to grief in our own way. So this is my only way.
I consciously think of her, go to call her for a coffee or when I’m driving I’ll go to catch up. And in those miniscule seconds all is fine, the world as I know it is all fine/back to normal. Everyone says time is a healer. But in a way you don’t want time to heal it because you still in a sense want to be in that middle point where it doesn’t feel real that it can be reversed and those mini seconds still happen. Because as time goes on, you lose those. And it makes me sick to my stomach to think that’s it forever, I just can’t seem to think like that.
I know everyone says ‘she’s with you’, she’s looking down on you. But I can’t seem to get in that place, going through her things to sort, seems so final and wrong. Then you just think what’s it all about? You work and work for us to suffer in that, acquired all these things over her lifetime and it’s so meaningless. I hate having to go through her things, asking people - what they would like? It seems awful.
Sorry I know I sound like a pessimistic, just sad and lost. Has anyone got any suggestions of what helped them get through this period?
