Dad passed away - trying to make sense of life and death

Hello Fallinglave and a warm welcome to the forum, though so sorry to hear about you dad. and his brave battle with cancer. The thoughts and questions you are having are ones most of us have, especially following the loss of a loved one and they are part of the grieving process. The loss of someone you love, especially someone who's been there for you every day of your life is an awful thing, knowing you will never see them, "in your lifetime", or hug them is heart breaking, the thought that, is death the end or the start of a new journey has been with us forever. I have lost three loved ones, family, and through my time in healthcare seen too many people pass away and know life is short and precious and appreciate the important things and to make the most of what time you have and appreciate family and friends and good health as you never know how long you will have them. take care.

Eddie

Hello fallenleaves,  i am new here , hope you do not mind me replying to your post, i would like to offer and say how sincerely sorry i am reading your post, i am going thru the same process myself at moment.  There are parts similar to my recent experience so i totally understand and feel for you.  I have been offered counselling which i think would help , i have met macmillan nurses during the last few months and they are all lovely people inside.  I feel exactly the same, it feels like my sister is still here but she is not.  I have started talking to my sister as if she still here, i find it helps a little.  (If anyone hears or see,s you talking to yourself, don,t worry or be put off.) I am sure there a hundreds and hundreds of people do it, but would not admit it. If it gives a little comfort why not?

Bless you and all your family.

Hugs.

Thank you so much for your replies, I really appreciate you taking the time out to share your experience and comfort a stranger online. You're so nice! How are you? Hope you are both coping okay with life. 

Sorry to hear about your losses as well. It must be difficult. I thought I was going crazy with the way I'm grieving, it's good to hear I'm not alone. 

I'm not religious, I guess I'm between an atheist and being spiritual. We all grieve differently, I've come to the conclusion that it's best to think that my dad is somehow still around. I went to my parents house yesterday evening, I cried bucket loads. My younger brother tried to console me by saying "dad is always here, in your heart". I'm just going to talk aloud to dad, it does make me feel better, thinking that he's still around somewhere, somehow. It just too sad to think he's gone forever.

I've got an extra 1.5 weeks off work. I'm going back to work after my dad's funeral. I can't face reality right now. I know once I'm back to real life, I'll be caught up with the daily grind and forget about what's really important...love, kindness, living a meaningful life and cherishing each precious moment.

We all cope with grief differently. I have colleagues who only took a week off work. I've heard about people taking months off work. Cos my dad had terminal cancer, I had over a year to mentally prepare myself which makes it a bit easier than a sudden unexpected passing, that's why I want to be nice to everyone cos I've developed a fear of death, feeling guilt and regret. 

Take care and good luck with your journey. Always happy to read and reply messages on here if anyone wants to chat. 

Hi Fallingleaves88, You are very welcome and i hope my words were helpful to you, take care.

Eddie