Hi all,
I don't know where to start, last year my life was turned upside down, my mum was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer in this time last year, by May it had spread to her brain I was her main carer by then.
She became a totally different person/ mum thankfully she didn't have much pain but her body and brain deteriorated so quickly and there was nothing I could do to help stop it.
I felt so helpless and tried everything to keep things up beat.
The first week in November she passed at home with me,I can't get that morning out of my head or the few months that led up to it. I feel so many emotions from one day to the next, I wake up in the night and can't get back to sleep because I'm reliving things.
I want to tell her things then I remember she's not there.
My close friend passed suddenly and unexpectedly in the September and I miss her so much too.
It feels like everyone expects me to be ok now and get on with life but I can't, I don't even feel like I'm the same anymore, I don't know where the old me has gone and I don't recognise this new broken version of me
