Son died of Non Cardia Stomach cancer

So sorry you are suffering and your cruel loss of your loved one.   My mother died at 41,more than half a century ago ago, of melanoma and I (a young child) still remember listening to her screams the entire night she died.  It has haunted me all my life and still no help in this country if you are terminal and in agony.  How lucky Swiss people are to know they can die without months of agony.  I do hope your pain eases.

Thank you so much for your very kind words. I am sorry to hear your poor mother died in such pain and that you had to hear her screams, especially as a child.

Hello, I am so incredibly sorry for what you have been through losing your son. I wonder how you are doing now? 

I just lost my twin brother 10 days ago to inoperable bowel cancer which was terminal at the stage of diagnosis. He was 38 then, and 40 when he died. I couldn't bring myself to write a post of my own yet - there's so much to process and be with. For now I have just searched through others' experiences that might strike a chord with mine, and yours does. My heart goes out to you.

I feel the pain of my grief physically and emotionally, which comes from losing him and witnessing what he had to go through - the horrific cancer and losing the life he wanted so much to live. My dad is utterly devasted in his grief, I feel for him so much as I feel for you, losing a son in such a cruel way. There is no way to make sense of such unfairness, except in feeling all the feelings and scavenging for different ways of seeing things. 

It sounds like your son lived an incredible life. He was evidently open-minded, and adventurous, seeking out new experiences and connections with the world. He must have lived very colourful and meaningful experiences that made him love life. Nothing removes the pain and anger of loss. You bore witness to his suffering which means something - he was not alone, he was so so loved and he knew it through your presence. I just hope that the potency of his final months recedes in time, so you can access the other truths of your son's awesome life and impact on the world, as the ones that keep you company. I can't fully imagine what you have had to endure, but I am pretty sure your son would want you to remember him for the full person in the world he was and still is in your heart, keeping you good company. 

much love and compassion to you

G

Thank you. It is so very kind of you to reply to my post. I am so sorry that you have just lost your twin, also so very young and also terminal at diagnosis. The latter makes it that much harder to cope with both for the patient and the loved ones. There isn't even a bit of hope to cling on to and you know it will all be downhill. So unfair. Such rotten luck. Just waiting for the inevitable to happen and hoping the suffering will be minimal. Love and compassion to you also. Rebecca