Bad or uncomfortable dreams

Hello Jjmpaimp

I am very sorry to hear that you lost your Mum 4 months ago. I lost my own Mum to cancer many years ago now and can understand how raw everything feels and how much you miss her, especially being so close to her. 

I did find at the time I did have some pretty bad dreams. I have also experienced them through my own cancer journey. I think the thing with dreams is that at the time they can feel so real and when they are about someone we love that sadness and emotional feeling can linger when we wake and remember the dream.

I think that sometimes for me it was my greatest fears that were being expressed through the dreams and subconsciously maybe I needed to work through those fears and to indeed process the whole cancer experience. 

Being a nurse and being there to physically dress Mum's wounds must have been hard. Although you may have wanted to at the time it would have been hard to have the sort of professional distance that you would possibly have when looking after someone who was not personally known to you? I think the worst thing is when you feel someone has suffered but you were there for your Mum. You could not take away her cancer but you were there for her through the most difficult times. You did all that you could and she did not suffer alone. Maybe take some comfort in that. 

Do you feel talking things through would help? I find sometimes talking about these fears gives an opportunity to process everything and is not a sign of weakness- in my opinion it is a sign of strength- that you are facing those fears, working through the painful feelings and hopefully start being able to come to terms with it all. For me the journey took some time but started when I felt I could express my feelings and begin to work on them.

I can recommend the Support Line and the nurses on there are very understanding. They will listen and can signpost you to any support in your local area. The number is below. They can also give you some information about some counselling if you feel it would help.

I found Cruse very good- even if you just have a browse on the website- being a Nurse yourself you will know about the different stages of grief etc but somehow it feels different when you are dealing with it personally.

Home - Cruse Bereavement Support

This link also has some relevant info.

Online Bereavement Support | Sue Ryder

I hope this helps a bit but if there is anything else you need, please do ask. 

Take care

Jane

It's like our subconscious just won't let go, processing everything in its own dream language.  Sometimes those dreams can feel heavy, like wading through fog (we've all been there, right?).

I've found some comfort in exploring the symbolism behind dreams – what certain objects or situations might represent. There's a website called https://meaningspiritual.com/ that has some interesting interpretations.  For instance, did you know that seeing teeth in dreams can symbolize strength or communication?

Maybe these dreams are a way for us to piece together our emotions, or even a way for our loved ones to connect with us in a different way.  Who knows?

What I do know is that you're not alone in this.  These dreams are a normal part of the grieving process, and talking about them can definitely help.  Sharing our experiences can be a powerful way to lighten the load.