My Beautiful 61 year old Mum passed away on the 6th of August surrounded by all her family in the hospital. She was diagnosed 11 weeks previous with stage 4 lung cancer that had spread to her liver her spine lympnodes and peritoneal lining.
She started with swelling of the belly 4 weeks before diagnosis which turned out to be ascites fluid she had 2 drains done before they put a permanent one in, she spent 7 weeks in and out of hospital all together, was too ill for treatment, she was on permanent oxygen, she had 3 bouts of pneumonia, she then started with pleural effusion in the lung which she had drained and lymphoedema in her legs and feet.
She was last admitted again 9 days before she passed due to her permanent drain getting infected and becoming dislodged, that's when the down hill spiral started, her blood pressure was low never picked up, she was sleepy, confused, lost her mobility due to all the fluid in her legs, Friday the 4th they told us they were making her comfortable mum cried ans told me she didn't want to leave us, they put a catheter in, she lost control of her bowels, she was on 9 litres of oxygen through the mask, she got put on a syringe driver on the Saturday, the Sunday, mentally she was all there just very tired and struggling to breath, she was asking to go, she couldn't go through another night she said. I told her it was OK to let go mum, go be with your daddy. Her reply gives me goosebumps. She said " I know darling, iv seen him, he's waiting for me"!! Wow! I hope hope hope he was and they are both cancer free in the spirit world somewhere far far away.
Watching my mum take her last breaths will traumatise me for life. Its not like the movies it's awful to watch but had to be there for her. My mum cared passionately about 3 things her family & friends, her work ( she worked for the NHS for 34 years) and her holidays. I always say my mum didn't want the world she just wanted to live in it.
I know this post is all over the place but it's helping me write it out and talk about it. It was 11 weeks off hell for us all but my mum never once took that smile off her face not once! How cruel is life. Unbelievable cruel.
She leaves behind my beautiful daddy, 3 children and 11 grandchildren and her mummy (my nan) who has already lost a baby to cancer years ago and my mums brother also has lung cancer. My poor nan.
Rest in perfect paradise mamma, I will love you forever & Always, see you when I get there. Fly high with Grandad.
