My mum died on 4th July 2023 aged 67 after a 2 month battle with lung cancer, not diagnosed because her GP refused to do a home visit and my mum was too ill to get to the surgery, the help from friends has tailed off, my husband is fantastic but I'm struggling, I miss her, I'm in such a mess financially from taking most of the time she was in hospice care off work and living on my credit card supporting myself, 3 children and my mums wishlist of things she wanted to do. What's the point in it all? My life feels like its crumbling without her, I'm wracked with guilt of all the things I should have asked her and not finding more time to be with her before she was diagnosed, if I knew last Xmas would have been her last with me then I would have made it extra special. I can't smile, I'm not happy, I'm living off peanuts trying to recover, it's all just a mess. I really do sometimes wonder 'what is the actual point?' It's just a rant but my heart aches to talk to her.
Hi KatD welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear about your mums death and how you are feeling. Why should you feel guilt at all as from what I;m reading, you went above and beyond to make sure that you were there for your mum and that she was cared for right until the end. i think we all wish that we had asked more and been specific about our questions but who knew what happened was going to happen. I think what I am trying to say is to cut yourself some slack and don;t be so hard on yourself, you have nothing to beat yourself up for.
The loss of a mother is so hard and it doesn't matter what age we are when it happens, our lives feel like they are spiraling out of control because they are our anchor and keep us stable simply by being there. But what I do know for certain is that we are a part of them and they have equipped us with skills and traits that help us get through this great sadness and come out the other side.
Like you I lost my mum almost 24 years ago now at a very young age and I miss her every day and think of her often and that isn't going to go away. You will learn to smile again and you will be happy but it will take time and you need to give yourself that time to grieve
In respect of the financial situation please pick up the phone and speak to one of the welfare advisors at Macmillan as they may be able to direct you tr areas that you can claim for to help with things in the short term, its worth a call I think
. 08088080000
I don[t know what to say to make any of this any better for you but know that I am thinking of you and I;m sending some huge big hugs your way for now xx
gail
