My name is chris and my mum died suddenly in may. She has breast cancer in 2014 and in January this year was given all clear after 10 years .
But in march became I'll couldn't eat and by mid april had lost 3 stone. Gp said it was hiatus hernia. That's why she could not eat. But turned out after a ct and MRI that she has mestastic breast cancer in liver ,pancreas ,spine . We were told on monday the 8th of may and she dies 215am on the thursday the 11th . I was by her side I flew in from scotland where I live.
After a few weeks we had a meeting with the professor who felt with her and were told that it was incredibly rare for 0.0567 % chance of getting it.
I guess the reason I ma on here is that I find it hard to digest and deal with that it was so aggressive and quick.
I say that I tried to save her but I couldn't I know not healthy but not sure what to do or say. Its effecting my marriage and work life as I am quite manic and rush things . Think it might be grief but not sure anyone else had similar and felling feeling similar.
Thanks for reading
Chris
Hi Chris welcome to the forum and I am so very sorry to hear of your mothers death. I've reread your ;post a couple of times and whilst I agree totally it must be such a shock for you that the end was so sudden. However it seems that this all started at the start of March when excessive weight loss was happening. It sounds so like my dad with the Pancreatic Cancer and Liver mets and it all happened very quickly, like your mum, but we got 5 weeks from diagnosis until his death as it was very advanced by the rime it was diagnosed. We were also told that Pancreatic Cancer can often be the silent Cancer as it doesn't usually present too many symptoms until it is at quite an advanced stage. You could no more have saved your mum than the Doctors could, so you maybe cut yourself some slack, at least you were there with her at the end and I'm sure that she knew that as well.
I think you could be right and it is grief and little wonder the loss of a parent is big part of our lives taken away from us and there doesnt seem to be any rhyme nor reason to it all.
Please dont let it go on too long before you have a chat with your GP and let them know how you are feeling as they may be able to refer you for some bereavement counselling which may be useful for you. Can you have chat with your partner and tell them how you are feeling as it is always good to talk about things if you felt able to do this.
Sending some hugs your way for now.
gail
