Thanks to all who have posted

Hi, I 'm so sorry to hear about your Mum and the suddenness must have made everything so much harder for you. I lost my Mum 11 weeks ago to lung cancer and the last days were unbearable. I'm not sure I can give any advice as everyone's experiences are different, but happy to share what helps me. I know it's a big cliche but for me just doing one day, or half day at a time helps me as it helps me as it seems to take the pressure off. Even planning one or two things in the day, even just going for a walk, or fetching something from the shops helps me but we're all different and I know sometimes I over compensate and keep myself very busy probably to avoid properly acknowledging the hugeness of what has happened and my feelings which isn't good either. After Mum's funeral I made sure I was with family so I had people I could talk about Mum with who I knew would want to talk about her too. I went back to work too soon though and although some of my colleagues knew only two acknowledged what had happened which made me feel all alone, horrible. Which is why I am being careful who I'm with, sorry that probably sounds weird but I don't want to be dealing with how other people react like that. This forum is great, knowing there are others who are experiencing the same and when I am feeling distressed it does help. You're in my thoughts, xx 

Thanks for your reply Kelpies, it really does feel overwhelming to think too far ahead. I went for a walk lunchtime, it helped to clear my head so I will try to be more active. I’m back to work, it feels too soon but I just thought get on with it, after a really terrible first day it got a little easier. I’ve been going through my belongings and throwing things out, getting organised, I feel like I’m panicking about dying young and want things to be easier for whoever I may leave behind. 

I’m sorry to hear you lost your mum too, it just seems so unfair, it’s a huge thing to go through. I’m 40 and have no friends who have lost parents yet so feel like nobody knows what it truly feels like.

xx

I think when we lose someone so close ,it makes us really anxious about others and ourselves. I know I got very anxious at first too about something happening to my partner but am less so now.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who has reacted by doing a sort out of belongings maybe it just helped me in creating some order in things. My Mum was exactly the same when we lost my Dad a few years ago.

It's hard when friends don't understand isn't it which unless they've lost someone close they don't really realise what it's like, but hopefully you have family members you can talk to. But I'm glad it's getting easier for you at work. I've been WFH a lot recently but will have to start going in more soon...

Take care, xx