My mum passed away August 2022 with Bowel, Liver and Lung Cancer. My sister and I cared for her in her own home and we were with her when she died, our brother was with us too. This is going to be an odd issue I expect, but I would welcome any advice you can give me. I don't know how to express my shock and how much I have been knocked off my feet by my very insensitive 'friend'.
In November 2022, I met up with my 'friend' to spend some time together and go out for a drive. I welcomed this as it hadn't been long since mum's death and funeral (8 weeks). She began asking me what had I been left in Mum's Will, what was going to happen to the house and businesses, was I going to get a house from it all, why did we need probate, was the estate going to be divided equally between my brother, sister and I? I took this for so long and was getting really anxious. I asked her to stop as it was nothing to do with her - she carried on. I got upset and felt like stopping the car and asking her to get out. I didn't stop the car but drove her to her home and left.
I felt so very sad, angry, upset - didn't know how to feel to be honest. So much so, I ended up having to go to GP next day. Now, out of the blue, 'friend' has asked to meet up again, but it has made me feel anxious and not wanting to see her. I want to tell her how intrusive she was and I'm not ready to see her. Mum would have been stronger than me and I wish she was still here to offer advice.
What would you do in these circumstances?
Hi Cuttysark welcome to the forum and can I just say that I think that your friend is out of order asking such intrusive questions, which as you say are nothing to do with her.
Maybe its about saying to her that you are happy to meet up, if you are, but that a condition of meeting is that she does not ask intrusive questions as she did before and maybe let her know how it left you feeling. I dont think that that is an unreasonable response to what has happened but I do recognise that you may not feel in a place to say that just now, so maybe the best thing is to give yourself some space form this person until you do feel ready to tackle this and feel stronger..
gail
