Hello,
I am new to the community and not sure where to start but the welcome message says to introduce yourself and your situation. My dad had been unwell for about a year and no one was able to give us a diagnosis. In July this year and MRI showed a tumour in his shoulder and he was diagnosed with lung cancer. A few weeks after that we were told to expect it to be a couple of months. My dad's mobility had severely decreased and we were able to move him into hospital to have round the clock care. Another couple of weeks went by and he had good days and bad days, it was still hard on the good days ultimately knowing he wouldn't get better. He had palliative radiotherapy but gradually got weaker and was unable to eat or drink much due to the cancer. I've read a few things about pre-grief/pre-bereavement grief and it is all too real and extremely difficult for all involved.
Mid-August, the doctor told us it had worsened and we now had a couple of weeks. Two days after that my dad passed on 18th August. He had been in a lot of pain and we were grateful for him to not be in pain and to be sleeping when he went. I am also hugely grateful that myself and my auntie, his sister were able to be with him, the nurses had let us spend the night.
I am also grateful that he was lucid throughout this time and we were able to speak and share memories. It will be four weeks tomorrow since he passed, we have had the funeral and began the logisical things that follow.
I joined this forum to hopefully find some comfort, or support, or something. My parents separated when I was very small and I'm an only child, my dad's little girl, and whilst I believe nothing prepares you for loss at any age, at 28 years old, my dad at 67, it all feels far too soon and sometimes I genuinely feel like a baby again and just lost without him. He was my world, I was his, and I know he'll always be with me but the grief is just so extremely painful. I have good moments and bad moments, but I'm really struggling with never being able to hear him, see him, hug him again. I know it takes time, I know it could be months, years and that grief never really goes away and I'm ok with that.
I'm starting to ramble now, my family, friends and partner have been incredibly supportive and helpful, but it's a lot for them as well, and I hope through this group I will find that different kind of support from people who know what it's like.
If you've stuck with me this far thank you for reading, it's been helpful to even type this out I think x
