My dad my world

I am so I sad to read your post. I totally understand what you are feeling. My grieving process definitely started before I lost my dad. It is a real thing pre grief and it consumed me completely for months before. My dad passed 2 weeks ago and the funeral is tomorrow. I am so worried about how I will cope. Allow yourself to grieve. Hard as it is it is normal. I would love to tell you how you keep going but you do. I have an amazing support network which really helps. 

My dad was diagnosed in May 2021 and passed away 19th July 2022 I was dreading the funeral but the strength comes from no where and you will surprise yourself like I did, honestly you will believe me but I’m sending love and strength to you xx, 

I'm so sorry about your dad. I can completely relate to this, we aren't sure of a prognosis for my dad and I'm not sure we are going to find out but I feel like I am already grieving for the outcome. Its just impossible to try and process the situation isn't it. It is ok to not be able to accept it, everthing you are feeling is completely valid. There is no given way to grieve or prepare for any of this. Try and take things one day at a time.

Sending love 

First of all I’m so very sorry to hear your devastating news. It hits you like a tonne of bricks doesn’t it? When I was told my Dad had terminal brain cancer last November I began grieving straight away.
I wrote a letter to him (I was too emotional to say it to him) telling him how much I loved him and how proud I was to call him my Dad. I also reassured him that we would fight this thing together, side by side and he was not alone. I told him how my happiest memories as a child were with him. How he makes everything better just by being around. Looking back now I’m so glad I wrote that letter before he got too ill.
The only way I was able to keep going following the diagnosis was to not look too far ahead into the future, take things one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time) and not let my mind wander too far. Night was worst when all was quiet and I often had an audio book on to try and distract me from those dark thoughts about a life without my Dad. My Dad was the best person I’ve ever known and I could cope with anything as long as he was here. He died on the 7th June and I did a reading for him at his funeral, something I never imagined I’d be able to do. 
You are in shock right now and everything I’m sure feels very surreal. Lean into every offer of support, cry when you need to cry, accept that some days will be harder than others but keep going. You are your fathers daughter. You can do this. I know, because I’m doing it. xx 

I can’t even explain how similar my experience is to yours. Dad was first diagnosed in August 2020 and I wrote him a letter including the same things. I wrote of memories from childhood as well as memories we have shared me being older like going to gigs, I needed him to know how much he means to me and that letter was due to be what I would read at his funeral. However, we were lucky enough for him to be declared cancer free in April 2021, the relief didn’t last long as the cancer is now back and has spread sadly. I admire you for doing a reading for your dad, I hope I am able to do the same when the day comes. He has my letter and it is comforting to know that he knows what he means to me. 

I am doing exactly the same with not looking too far ahead, it feels too scary and sad to look too far ahead but also I don’t want to wish the time away. I am going one step at a time. I am also the same with the nights! I will listen to a podcast or an audiobook because I can’t deal with the silence. 

I am so sorry you’re going through this, I can’t thank you enough for your reply, it means so so much to me and I appreciate it more than I can say. My dad is my hero and when it does happen it will be awful, but I am so lucky to be able to stand back and say that my dad knows how much he means to me.

Thank you again, you are wonderful x