Dad was a fit 74 year young man who fitted my kitchen, hung all my doors at the end of November 2021. 6 weeks later our lives changed forever and the Dad we knew had disappeared. Discovered he had lung cancer with massive brain mets. Driving home that day all I wanted was Dad back for a while but I also didn't want him back as he'd realise what was happening to him. Against all odds and by some miracle we did get Dad back and as a family we made some amazing memories and Dad got to see the things we didn't think he would. Our living, laughing miracle. I always thought another miracle would happen and it would go away but it didn't. His wish was to stay at home until the end which he did. It fills me with peace that he did but i can't describe how traumatic it was being there with Mum through the nights, feeling helpless waiting hours for the nurse to come and give him more pain relief. Sorry I'm going into more detail than I wanted. Im the strong one of my siblings, the one who gets things done, takes control, delivers the hideous news. They comfort each other, assume I'm ok because I get things done. Messaging my sisters, making sure they're ok. Im absolutely broken inside, don't know how to cope and feeling angry and upset that they don't see I need them too.
Hello Lorbury
I am so sorry to read your post, for your loss and for your feelings of anger and upset that your siblings don't seem to see the pain that you are in.
You have been through a extremely difficult experience, it is hard enough on all of us when we lose a parent or loved one, but it is even more difficult when we watch their final days.
Being a person who gets things done, who takes control and delivers the hideous news, is always someone role, and I have been in that role myself, and it is true that often due to the strength that we show in daily life, others mistakenly believe that we are coping. But is important that you try not to be angry or upset with your sisters, at this time when your family is reeling from the pain of the loss, it is important that you reach out, let them know that you need them, let them know that you have tried to hold it together for everyone else but you are having trouble coping and you need them. As difficult as that is, your sisters would want you to tell them. Maybe you think that they should just know, but in reality we see the strength in people and forget that at times they need us too.
Please reach out to them, you all need it other right now.
Thinking of you.
Lowe'
