Feeling Lost


Not sure what if Im in the right group or even what Im doing.

Lost my amazing dad on the 13th May,  medical cert said Metastic Cancer of unknown source.

My dad wasnt ill, slight stomach upset for a couple of days and then issues breathing.  His GP gave him steroids and antibiotics thinking it was a chest infection but over a couple of days he got worse.

She then phoned him back after 4 days and sent him to the Hospital for a scan, we took him into the OOH assesment unit and they did bloods etc, they came back abnormal.  And admitted him.  My dad was put on 3 types of antibiotics and fluid drained from his abdomen.   But he never got any better.   And passed away in his sleep on the Friday.   Only 3 days after he was admitted.   The Dr said agressive cancer in Liver, Lungs and Kidneys stopped functioning.   

I didnt know cancer could hit that quick, we had no warning signs he had been healthy right up until that stomach issue.  Just felt so lost and wished I culd have done more, made him see a Dr sooner.  Or insisted on scans etc.   We had no time at all.


  • I am truly sorry for your loss, I'm sorry I never know what to say. Your dad sounds like a true fighter and you may be able to find comfort that he lived life to the fullest not knowing he had cancer.

    If he had had a scan a year earlier for example, that may have picked up something and he then would have started treatment to.prolong life, whilst that is positive, life on chemo/radio is not enjoyable and some people don't like the tag of cancer patient. I know my dad certainly didn't and was very reluctant to have treatment, choosing to stay positive and do his best.

    I can not imagine how difficult it must be to have such a limited time to say goodbye, I'm really sorry to hear that 

  • I'm so sorry for your loss, it sounds incredible hard to lose some one this suddenly.

    I can only try and give comfort in what I know my dad told us, as I lost my dad November last year after fighting for 16 months. He said when he realised he was going to die (at 58), he would have much preferred to go instantly, rather than the slow decline he went through. Try and find solace in the fact that your dad didn't suffer long, and that he was incredibly strong for the last moments of his life.

    I appreciate having more time to say goodbye feels like all you want right now, which makes total sense, but I hope this helps somewhat.

    All the best xx

    “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”