New member. Loss of husband

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My beloved husband’s funeral was yesterday. He died on 25th March. I feel absolutely broken. A part of me is missing. We’d been together for 48 years, married for 41. The last 18 months has been just the two of us as I gave up work to look after him. We grew closer than ever in this time and now I have nothing. I don’t see the point of me anymore. I just want him back. I know it’s still early days but I can’t imagine living the rest of my life without him. We have grown up children but they have their own lives. Please tell me it gets easier.

  • Hi,

    I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband. I lost my Dad in February, I’m only 38. He and my Mum were married for nearly 50 years, together for 52 years. I know I lost my Dad but I see my Mum most days and see the pain in her face so I do really empathise with you, she said losing her husband is the worst thing to ever happen to her.

    I’m sorry I can’t really offer anything but wanted you to know you are not alone, please come on here and talk or vent as much as you need, we all know how you feel. One day at a time.

    x

  • Thank you. I’m so sorry for your loss too x

  • We lost my dad on 28th March. He and my mum were married 49 years all but 2 weeks and together for 51. She is feeling exactly like you, dad was only diagnosed 3 weeks. She feels lost and scared as he was the calming factor in their lives, he steadied her. I have no answers for you other than you're not alone. My mum feels like she is in a dark tunnel and no one else understands because no one else is going through it. I would love her to join this forum to see that she too is not alone x

  • Thank you for replying. I’m so sorry for your and your mums loss. I hope she does join this group. I’m now at the stage where I think people must be getting fed up with my misery. I can’t help it, it hurts so much. I put a brave face on when I’m talking to friends but inside I just want to hide away and think about him. I’m so scared of forgetting every little detail about him. One thing that has helped me is writing to him every day to say how I’m feeling and what’s been going on. It’s for nobody else to see as they’d probably think I was mad! It’s in a little notebook hidden away. Xx

  • I'm going to suggest this idea to my mum! I think she would like that! Thanks x

  • Hi Lissmore. Just wondering how you and your mum are doing. I’m still feeling pretty broken but continue to write to him everyday. We got his ashes back today. Somehow I feel he’s come home and it’s given me a tiny bit of comfort. We did plan to scatter them in a favourite holiday place but I’m not sure I’m ready to let him go yet. Especially to somewhere that I wouldn’t be able to visit regularly x

  • Hello Carpetbagger so sorry for your loss Sleepyit's a s#!tty time we have to go through losing our best friend. I lost my husband just over 2 years ago and visit the cemetery everyday still so I can understand how you can't let the ashes go.  It's worth joining the bereaved spouses and partners group, you'll find lots of support from us fellow bereavers who are in the same boat RowboatSlight smile

    Tomorrow is another day