Missing my Dad

Hi Kew22,

In so sorry to hear about your dad. I also lost my dad 3 weeks ago after he was diagnosed with stomach cancer in November, enquire a similar time frame to you.

May I ask what type of cancer your dad had?

We only just had my dad's funeral yesterday and I am really struggling this morning. I cant believe that he is gone.

Like you I did quite a bit of caring for my dad. The week when he really statyed to go downhill I stayed with him and my mum and it was so hard physically and mentally. He then went into a hospice, and I was with him as he took his final breath. I keep thinking about it and find it so hard.

Your dad would have been so proud of you for looking after him and would have felt you there when she passed, which would have given him great comfort. 

I've been trying to think that my dad was there when I came into this world, and I was there with him as he left it, and taking some comfort from that.

I've just bought my first home and will be moving soon, so like your wedding, it is a distraction. But it is also so sad as I so wanted him to see it and help plan my garden, which I'm sure is how you feel about your wedding. But he will be there with you in spirit and he is a part of you, so try to take some comfort in that.

Cancer is so cruel and I feel so angry that so many of us are suffering with losses of those we have loved so much. x 

Hello

Like you I have joined this group and am not really sure why.

I am so sorry about your dad. I lost mine 4 weeks ago to liver cancer, 8 weeks to the day that he was diagnosed. My mum, sister and I looked after him at home and it was so hard. He faded away literally in front of us and didnt really even have time to make his peace with it or come to terms with it. He was so distant and quiet for the last few weeks and now I feel like we wasted so much of that time. 

I feel so angry with everyone. My dad was 66 and until they told us about his tumour he was fit and healthy. We had so many things planned and now instead we are trying to figure out a life without him. 

It so unfair and so sad.

Hi,

I also lost my dad 2 weeks ago he had NET cancer of the lower oesophagus and stomach. We were told he only had a few short weeks to live where he then decided to go to a hospice too. He deteriorated so fast and in 6 days of being there he passed holding my hand in front of my eyes. He had ALOT of visitors and in a way I am glad I his daughter was there with him as he took his final breath. He was in so much pain and we spent lots of time caring for him 24:7. His funeral was last week and now looking after our mum who is completely broken. It’s hard to build a routine and a new life again when our life used i eve once around dad… they say time is a healer but this pain won’t ever go away.. I just need to learn to live with it and make peace that he is no longer suffering and in a better place now.. 

Hi R1k2G3,

I'm really sorry to hear that you have also lost your dad. My dad also had oesophagus and stomach cancer. He told me he wasnt in much pain, but since his passing we have found his symptoms diary and he wrote about pain in his stomach so now I'm worried he wasnt telling us how bad he was feeling.

It's 4 months since I lost my dad and so far things havent got any easier. It feels like people have forgotten  now that I have lost my dad and just expect things to carey on as normal, but every second of every day i carry the pain of my dad no longer being here.

How old was your dad if you don't mind me asking?

My dad was 78 and so fit and healthy until this.

I understand how hard it is now looking after your mum, because seeing how broken and devastated our mum's is, is like another layer of grief that we have to cope with.

I dont live with my mum, hit one if my brothers does, but she told me that every night she cries because my dad isnt there, and it breaks my heart. Now whenever I go to bed I think of her being sad and on her own and it devastates me.

Sending you lots of love as I know what you are going through.

Take care of yourself. xx