My wife passed away on the 16/03/22 she was only 32 she passed away from an aggressive brain tumour. She was diagnosed December 20 and was given between 6-12 months. We have a 4 year old daughter and it breaks my heart thinking that she will never grow old with her mum.
I’ve never really felt the way I do at the moment as I’ve never been in this situation. The reason I’m here is to see if anyone has any tips or advice on how to keep my head straight and deal with this emotional pain. I know the grieving process takes time I understand that but I just want to lessen this pain it’s horrendous. I have a big support network which is really helping but I think sometime it’s good to talk to people in my current situation and outside my support circle if you know what I mean as I may say more about certain things to someone that’s not directly involved.
I lost my Dad in February 2022. He had extensive Small Cell Lung Cancer, he was diagnosed in June 2021.
There isn’t anything that I could say that could make it better, but all I am doing is one day at a time. I have never lost anyone before. It was very brutal for my Dad, he had a real rough time during his diagnosis and even more so towards the end, his decline was very quick.
I have 3 children, my 2 eldest idolised him, and my 3rd was only 3 months when we lost him. They keep me going. Your daughter will keep you going and you’ll keep going for her and your wife.
You will have good days and bad days, when you have the bad days, let them happen. I cry everyday, I look at his photos everyday and I talk about him all the time. We are a close family.
I’m told all the time that the pain gets “softer” but it’s a very long process and we have to give ourselves time.
Be as honest as you want to be on the forums, nobody is here to judge and there are so many people going through the same pain and loss, sadly, but we all understand.
Day by day is all you can do, don’t put pressure on yourself.
Thanks Essex1 for your reply, Im sorry to hear about your dad life can be so cruel. Im taking it day by day at the moment trying to keep things as normal as I can for my daughter.
As you said people keep telling me time is a healer! But I’m not to sure at the moment.
It’s just a cloud of sadness and emptiness that follows you around all the time. I’m still waiting for things to become “softer”. I may even try Bereavement Counselling down the line, but I’m not ready for that yet. Maybe that could also be an option for you.
Hi, I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife. My husband passed away just over 3 months ago on 08/01/22, he was only diagnosed at the end of Oct last year and then just over 2 months the cancer took him. We have a 3 year old, I too am struggling with the fact that he will grow up without his Daddy there, he turned 3 at the beginning of this month and that was very hard. A bit like you I am not too sure how to move forward right now and have made contact with the hospice that looked after us, I've got an appt next month with the bereavement councillor, but I was advised when he first passed away that they tend to leave you to grieve naturally for a few months before offering counselling because things are so raw. Sorry I don't really have any advice but know you are not going through it alone. I keep talking to our son about Daddy, especially if he brings him up and keep showing him pictures and video's. Just taking it one day at a time. It's so so hard and just know what you are feeling is ok to feel that, there is no right or wrong way. Please take care and be kind to yourself
Really sorry to hear about your husband I hope you’re coping ok and as best as can be. I’m the same I’ve been showing my daughter pictures and videos of her mum but I think she is still not sure what exactly happened and where her mum is. My daughter will ask me sometimes can mum come back for 5 minutes which can be upsetting. I’ve also been told to give bereavement support time and let myself come to grips a little more with what’s happened.
People keep saying things will get better in time and I do believe they will, at the moment It seems this heartache will never end but I do believe there is better days ahead for everyone on here. All we can do is be strong for our children whenever I get a bad day I just think of my daughter and what my wife would of wanted for us. Thanks for replying to my message and wish you and your family all the best.
Take a day at a time and go with the flow of your emotions. Try not to hide your sadness from your little one and that way she will feel easier in expressing her sadness also. There is no right or wrong way in dealing with this sad situation, but whatever helps to get you through the fog of heartache then go with it. Talk freely to those who want to listen and be honest with those that choose not to. All that matters is that you and your little one are able to talk about mum/partner closely together, sharing in the joys of memories and equally the sadness and tears of no longer having your loved one with you in person. But make a determined effort to keep her memory alive for your daughter's sake by talking about her constantly, as she is so young and sadly will not remember mum easily unless you keep her memories of mum alive. Feel for you xx
I lost my wife of 46 years a week ago funeral next week like you I can’t see how im going to cope she was my sole mate and carer as I have multiple sclerosis and relied on her so much
Hi Bradfor52, hope you are OK. All I can offer is sympathy and a cyber hug during this tough time for you. You're not alone, there's plenty of support here, keep strong.
