Lost mum... is how I'm feeling normal.

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Your relationship with your mum sounds really special. 

All i can say is after my father's passing I know I have felt numb. I don't know how to feel but I realised i'd been putting pressure on myself to feel a certain way and when i didn't feel a certain way (e.g sad, in anguish, crying) i felt bad because I thought there was something wrong with me; I think you see people's reactions to death in TV in soaps and think that it's how you're supposed to react; but it's much more complicated.  My mother has had a similar reaction, she barely cries and doesn't express or feel emotion about it. Everything happened so fast. We both loved Dad to pieces and miss him so much but for some reason the emotion just hasn't surfaced; it's just an odd thing. 

Hi sorry for your loss. I lost my man last September at the age of 69.It was very quick and to be honest I don’t feel like it’s hit me yet. I haven’t cried for months and can talk about her without any emotion. So don’t feel like you’re the only one who feels like that, we’re all different. Just take one day at a time. 
I would go and see your GP, they gave me medication which helped with my anxiety. Stress can do awful things to your mind and body. Hope you feel better soon.

First of all, I’m so very sorry about the loss of your mother! (I just lost mine from cancer late Feb). Secondly, I just wanted to tell you that anything & everything you’re feeling is “normal”! But If you’re really struggling, be sure to talk about it to someone you feel safe with. Get a therapist if necessary. Also, your mother would probably want you to see a doctor if you think you should!  I Wish you well! And I’m glad you posted here!

I'm in the same boat with my grief. 

I lost my incredible mum 4 weeks ago today and it feels so surreal. Although we were a 3 hour drive apart, she was my absolute rock, my world. We were in regular contact and she was always the person that I wanted to speak to first if I had news (good or bad) or if I was feeling low/stressed/disappointed/scared. 

I cried uncontrollably in November when we got the news (that's a conversation that will haunt my dreams forever) and there have been so many tears throughout her battle.

Don't get me wrong, I still have moments, mostly in the evenings, where all I want to do is sob, but the rest of the time I feel eerily calm and ok. Even talking about her! I'm assuming that its anticipation grief that got most of it out before she passed away and maybe even an element of denial still?? Who knows. 

Losing my mum was a nightmare I had as a kid and something that even thinking about would make me well up or properly start sobbing .....so why not now? Now that its actually happened wheres the breakdown that I was convinced would happen? 

I do believe that she's with us, and we've all had signs from her, so maybe thats been a comfort too.

Were all different with how we grieve but I think I'm just so so so surprised and how I'm dealing with it because its not at all like how I expected I would be!

Hi, just wanted to say that I am here, 6 years later, around the anniversary of losing my mum (who was just over 60) still feeling the same things. I firmly believe grief is a cycle and never ends, we just go through moments in it, how you deal with it is personal to you… each year gets slightly less-hard but I will never, ever understand why it happened x

It sounds strange but I'm so glad I looked at this particular forum as I'm feeling the same. It's only been 2 weeks since I lost my mum to cancer. She came home and I did her end of life care, hardest and best thing I've ever done. But I just feel totally numb and flat. Keep analysing myself as to why aren't I crying constantly and I'm fine when I speak about her. She was also my rock, best friend and loved her so much, it's the strangest feeling. So you and others are not alone with this feeling and I hope knowing that, will be a bit of a comfort x sending strength and love to you all x