Feel like i cant get clousure

Hi SamanthaJayne

Welcome to the community.  I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mum.

Unfortunately the chapel of rest will have strict guidelines at this time.  However, you could try speaking to the funeral directors and ask them if they can arrange something - even with covid restrictions they are pretty good at meeting the requests of loved ones.

Remember though that your mum will always be around you and will try to guide, support and comfort you as best she can.  Regardless of where you are you can talk to your mum.  This can be talking for a long time as thoughts come to you or just something simple about the weather.  Ask her to guide you and she will send you a sign to let you know she is close to you.  This could be anything such as finding an unexpected white feather, radio / tv retuning, finding a long lost item of your mums.  Open yourself to see and accept any sign she will send rather than put it down to coincidence.

Another good way of expressing your emotions is by writing.  You could compile a memory book about your mum and include everything you feel - happy and sad to give a true picture.  You can include stories from other relatives and lots of photos.  Include some stories your mum told you about her childhood - what games she played, the cost of things, favourite movies and actors.  You can do this alone and then destroy the writings so no one else can read it.  Or, you can keep it long term and in years to come, especially if you have a bad day, look back on it and reflect on how you coped now and do the same again.  Your own mind will know what is best and when and you will gradually learn coping strategies so that, even the pain never goes, you will find it easier to understand and cope with.

If you need to talk to someone, please contact the support line free on 0808 808 0000 which is open daily 8 am – 8 pm daily for a free confidential chat.  You can use this link your area to find support near where you live.  This could be 1-2-1 or group and is also free and confidential. 

Also, post as much as you want whenever you want here and someone will always respond to you.

There is some useful information on coping with grief and information on the symptoms of grief.

This link allows you to download the Macmillan book Coping with Bereavement which is full of useful information and has support contact details at the back.  This booklet about bereavement is free and can be downloaded as PDF or as an ebook.

This link takes you to a leaflet called In Memory which is very useful.

Lastly, here are some words which I hope will bring you some comfort -

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you always used.

Put no difference into your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the shadow of a ghost in it.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around

the corner .......

All is well.

Hope this helps and sending you a big hug.