Struggling with losing my Mam.

Hi Kitty,

Im sorry for your loss, I lost my dad on the same day too. It doesn’t feel like it gets any easier does it? Now the funeral is over the realisation hits you hard that they’re not coming back. Please try not to feel guilty, you was there when it mattered most for those cuppas and giggles so try and hold on to that. 
Thinking of you x

Hi Kitty,

•  I’m so sorry you lost your mum. I lost mine in March and I can promise you things do get easier. Losing anyone close leaves such a massive hole and nothing seems to be able to fill it. When I lost my mum I lost over two stone in weight, couldn’t think, sleep or eat. Everyday was overwhelming and even now would give anything to have her back. 
   Grief is so overpowering but all those feelings you have are normal. But very slowly that mountain to climb becomes a hill, and you will start to get some normality back. We all grieve differently, its been eight months for me and I still have days where I cry in the car, in the supermarket. Dont beat yourself up, you need to go easy on yourself. It will take time but try to remember the good times. Sending you hugs at the difficult time
• Paula xx

Thanks so much for replying...

Every single little thing, not sure if it's because it's Christmas too, reminds me of me Mam...even down to certain cups in my cupboards because she had her favourites to have cuppas with...not having any pressies to wrap for her...not having any under my tree off her...

Everything! It'll never ever be the same.

I got some photos developed and put one in a frame to have so I could maybe just have it there as a comfort...I can't...because I know I've only got the photo because she's not here, if that makes any sense...?

Sending love...Kay

Hiya Kay, 

you do make sense, to me anyway :) you sound like you miss her so much. No need to rush anything, let yourself grieve. I couldnt look at photos of my mum for along time and its taken me 9 months to turn her ipad on which I did last night which made me cry. 
Grief is rubbish. I went xmas shopping today, something which I’ve been putting off because I know its triggering as I keep thinking what I would be doing with my mum at this time, but instead of feeling bad, although it was a bit sad I could hear my mum talking to me telling me to treat myself, spoil my kids and enjoy myself, which undoubtedly I ended up doing. 
 I wish you lots of strength, and again it wont feel like it right now but it will become easier, it takes time. 
 Try and enjoy yourself even a little, its what your mum would want I’m sure. And Im here if you need to vent/chat 

lots of love and hugs

Paula xx