Eight weeks after diagnosis, my son lost his dad and my ex-husband three weeks ago. Since then, the shocks have kept coming. My ex-husband's girlfriend refused to allow family members to visit the hospice during his last 48 hours, she's deactivated his Facebook account so no one can leave a memorial message and had his body cremated 24 hours after death with no funeral or wake.
His family live 200 miles away so we'd all been in daily contact over video since his diagnosis, and NOT ONCE did he tell us he didn't want a funeral even when he was told he had days left to live. No one can believe that these were his wishes as his girlfriend HATED anything to do with his family.
My son and I are bewildered by the fact that he doesn't exist anymore ANYWHERE! There is no ceremony, no grave, not even a stupid Facebook page to prove he existed. One day, we were told he'd died and 24 hours later, we were told he'd already been cremated, and I can't begin to tell you the shock and hurt that this news caused.
My ex-husband was still my dearest friend and everyone always joked that we were still married really. He even told me he had cancer before he told his girlfriend so this "no funeral" issue feels so wrong.
I'm sure my response is down to my grief, but it's been tough answering friends and family questions when they asked me when his funeral was. If people are going to have a cremation only plan, they need to understand that it may cause pain to those left behind, if they find out AFTERWARDS!!
Hi ScoobyOoby welcome to the forum. That is one of the saddest things I have read how sad for you that you didn''t even get the opportunity to say goodbye. My sincere condolences on your loss.
Would you not still be down as his next of Kim or was that changed when you separated?
Im wondering if you could have had a remembrance service for him with all his friends an family that wanted to come and share memories of him. You could also maybe think about planting a tree near a place that has happy memories for you all.
gail
