Feeling lost

Dear Red48

Thank you for posting, you are very welcome here, although I know this is the last place you want to be, I hope you will find some support from others here who may have a similar bereavement to your own.

I am so sorry to read that your beautiful daughter passed on February 20th, after a 5 year battle, she was so young, I can not begin to imagine how you are coping, but I do hope that by taking the first steps in posting in this forum, you will find some understanding. 

I know I would be broken, so I understand fully when you say, how can you not be sad, and why all your once happy memories would add to that sadness.. in time we know that those memories will once again be happy, but they will always also be sad,  and from your short post, I can feel your pain, and just wanted you to know, that someone is listening.

I don't know if any of the advice links posted here are of any help to you at this time, possibly not, but just in case I have added the link anyway.

Thinking of you

Lowe'

Hi, Thank you for your reply, so kind of you to reply, I’m taking each day as it comes, whether that’s crying, smiling or laughing, I’m just rolling with it, there are no words to explain the pain, I’ve suppose I have got to learn to live with it, hope you are well 

Hello Red48, 

I know how your feeling, my Sister died 6 months ago, after a 2 year battle, she was just 44.  She was my best friend, my partner in crime, I miss her each and every day.  I know my lovely Sister didn’t want us to be sad, she was most worried about how my parents and I would cope.

I want to honour her wishes and not be sad, but I apologise to her and say sorry I loved her so much, that I have to grieve, it is the price we pay for love.  Hopefully in time, I will learn to cope, but at the moment I am finding it difficult.

it is difficult, but you are not alone in your feelings.

Ask for help if you need I have counselling and have phoned Cruse.

Be kind to yourself.

My daughter also worried how we would all cope, she worried about everybody else, she was a ray of sunshine, so positive and for 5 years she never gave up, but as you say, I miss her so so much, we where best friends. We laughed we cried and we where best friends, it’s overwhelming how much I miss her, my heart goes out to you, I understand how you are feeling, so I’m sending you a big hug. We will get through this, some how, I have two other children as well and two grandchildren, so I’m trying to focus on them, it’s nice to know I’m not on my own, hope you are coping the best you can ..

Red48

We also lost our daughter 37yrs old, she fought hodgkins for 4 years.. reading your post I could have written it. We lost her last July and feel I’m in a dream not sure were the months have gone. I have a big family and friends but feel so alone. Sending you a big virtual hug from one mum to another x 

Hi Daisy rose, Thank you for taking the time to write to my post, it’s nice in a way to know we are not alone on our journey, hope you are coping the best you can, I have goodish and bad days, where my heart aches for her so much, and I wish I could have her back, I miss everything we did together, I just miss her so much, she was so brave and we laughed and smiled and a few tears along the way, I never thought it would take her in the end, and that makes me sad, she had a bone marrow transplant, but it came back, and had a clinical trial in London, it worked for a year but unfortunately it came back again, 3 times we where told there was nothing more they could do, but we battled on, and she had 5 years, she even got the drug blinotunamab approved as she trialed it for 28 days, so it gave other patients a more easier on the body drug to try, instead of chemo, I am so proud of her, she was a patient advocate for blood cancer as well, even throughout her treatment she tried to help others, sending you a big hug back ..