Lost and broken

Bless you and your family at this time. I cannot begin to understand how you are feeling at the sudden loss of your Father, not having to time to say and do everything is really hard kn you.

Your great neice will probably cope with the loss of her Grandad better than any of you adults because they are more resilient than we know. My Grandchildren understood when Dad passed and the youngest was only 4 at the time. She amazed me on her acceptance and her support of her older sister.  Talk to her in language she can understand in simple terms explaining why Grandad has gone to sleep forever. You will have found the words by now and I hope all us well with her x x  We talk about Great Grandad a lot and they will say they miss him. We dealt with things as the questions came up in ways they understood x x 

Sending you strength for the coming days and weeks. Be kind to yourself x x 

Ollyw

Thank you for having the strength to reach out for support as such a devastating time, I am so sorry to read of your Father's fatal heart attack on Saturday and I fully acknowledge why you would be struggling at this time.

My deepest and sincere condolences to you (((HUGS))

We all show or contain our emotions differently, there is no right or wrong way, but I feel that you are being a little hard on yourself by saying that you are bottling things up, that may be true in the real world where for you, it may be safer to do that, but you have not bottled anything up here, you have been open, you have shared a traumatic and emotional experience and you have acknowledged how you are struggling and your love and care for your 5 year old great niece, who, has lost her Grandad.  

Young children I have found, tend to understand loss on a different level to teenagers or adults, my youngest daughters where three and five when their grandfather died, they seemed to 'cope' better than their elder sisters, maybe it is comprehension, maybe it is how they are protected, but I hope that you find that it will be a conversation that is less painful for her than it may be for yourself. (As Sweetju)

There is no correct way to grieve Olly, there is no correct amount of emotion to be shown...  you have every right to feel lost and broken, and time may, or may not change that, but for now, should you need to, please know, we are here if you choose to reach out again

Sending you strength during this really difficult time.

Lowe'

Thank you so much for your words 

I have to say it’s just all so strange and feels surreal 

My great niece seems to be handling things well and says some lovely things and is already bossing me about telling me where grandad would want the plants to go in the garden 

we have the funeral Wednesday and that in itself isn’t really sinking in. To me it just feels like he’s gone to the hospital again and will be walking back through the doors anytime asking for his coffee and some biscuits , it seems stupid but it really hasn’t begun to sink in yet

Hello and thank you so much for your kind words

I seem to have comfort in music( although really could do without the late nights and the smoking!) 

it just all feels surreal and so strange

i just know I’m broken at the minute and don’t really know how to fix myself or the family. 

And thank you for the hugs my god could do with one at the minute 

Funeral is Wednesday so will hopefully be able to make it through the day. House seems to quiet think we need a pet! 

Hi Ollyw

It is amazing how much music can penetrate the soul, aid with memories and evoke tears, all the while feeling like a friend that truly understands what goes on inside of you.

Smoking, well, thankfully I gave up some years ago, but often feel that I could return to that vice at times when I am trying to hold myself together, (whatever see's is through )

A pet you say! maybe in time you will, what would you choose if there was nothing stopping you from doing so?

I will be thinking of you on Wednesday and sending strength to get you through the day.

Lowe'