Losing Mom at young age

Hi Gaz

Welcome to the community. I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your mum.  Feeling angry is part of the grieving process and perfectly normal.  Do you have any other family members - aunts, uncles, cousins - who you could talk to?  Do you have a best friend who you can talk to anytime and know that they will listen and offer support?

We all grieve in our own way and at our own pace so there is no right or wrong.  The only thing is to not bottle up your emotions - even in public places let tears fall silently or go to the nearest toilet to avoid being seen if you prefer.  Always talk to your mum, she will always be there with you and will try to guide and support you as best she can.  Even when coming in and just saying that the weather is cold will make you feel better and keep her informed.  She will try to send you small signs - you have to open yourself up to be aware of these.  It could be a breath of wind on a still day when sitting in the park, lights flickering in the house, a bird coming closer than normal.  The sign(s) may not happen immediately but if you open up to them you will notice them.  Start a memory book about your mum including stories (happy and sad) from your childhood, photos, stories from your mums childhood and any stories from other friends / relatives who knew your mum.  This a great way of expressing your emotions and will keep memories alive for you for years to come.

If you need to talk to someone, please contact the support line free on 0808 808 0000 which is open daily 8 am – 8 pm daily for a free confidential chat.  You can use this link your area to find support near where you live.  This could be 1-2-1 or group and is also free and confidential. 

Also, post as much as you want whenever you want here and someone will always respond to you.

There is some useful information on coping with grief and information on the symptoms of grief.

This link allows you to download the Macmillan book Coping with Bereavement which is full of useful information and has support contact details at the back.  This booklet about bereavement is free and can be downloaded as PDF or as an ebook.

This link takes you to a leaflet called In Memory which is very useful.

Lastly, here are some words which I hope will bring you some comfort -

Death is nothing at all.

I have only slipped away into the next room.

I am I and you are you.

Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you always used.

Put no difference into your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the shadow of a ghost in it.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around

the corner .......

All is well.

Hope this helps and sending you a big hug.

Hi Josh, I am Katie 36 and lost my Mum 3 weeks ago to breast cancer that had come back as secondary and spread to her liver, stomach, bones and pluera. I lost my Dad nearly 3 years ago too however not to cancer he had pneumonia and sepsis.

My Mum had care from the peace hospice they’d come to her house daily to do her medication and she also went in to the hospice for 2 weeks back in September for symptom management. They have been fantastic for Mum and even after they rang to ensure we were ok and to say they offer a bereavement service. I’m not sure if the palliative care unit offers that?

Please feel free fo speak to me here and know that you are not alone. There are always people you can speak to here.