Mum

Hi Sando,

it sounds like you are experiencing complicated grief disorder. While grief itself is not a diagnosed mental illness, complicated grief disorder is. Your mum has been gone for a number of years now and as you have not come to accept this, this would suggest you may be needing some help and support. 

https://www.cruse.org.uk/complicated-grief

You can call Cruse Bereavement Care for advice/support. I would also urge you to discuss your feelings with your GP and the impact it is having on your life e.g. feeling detached from your partner and feeling no emotions, to seek psychological help for you. 
 
It sounds as though you are stuck in a really difficult place right now but there is help available.

Sending loads of love and support x

Hey, can't really speak to my doctor. My mum had her kidney removed due to cancer diagnosis back in early 2000s.when she went back to new doctor with lower back pain that had taken over surgery, he sent her away 3 or 4 times. She eventually got the scans at Jimmy's after speaking to a lovely random doctor. He referred her straight away to a specialist. He confirmed a part of the cancer that should of Bern removed when she had her kidney removed had been missed and was now terminal... She told her gp there was something not right numerous times. He said it was a lower back strain. And not to worry everytime. I really can't talk to this doctor. 

Hi,

I can really empathise with this. I lost my mum 4 weeks ago. Drs wouldn’t take her seriously and kept telling her she had sciatica and giving her strong pain killers. They wouldn’t admit her to hospital. By the time she finally got an MRI scan, it was too late and she was too unwell for treatment. She was told on her 50th birthday she had cancer and died 4 weeks later :( 

so yeah I totally get that you can’t trust that dr.

however, you are totally entitled to be assigned to a new Dr, even change practice entirely. There are lots of good GPs, lots of not so good ones too :( 

I don’t want you to be alone and in this horrible place mentally. You can always message me. And Cruse might be a good starting point just to talk through what you are going through.