Lost both my parents in 5 months and am the last one standing

So sorry to read your story. Such a lot to deal with in a short time. Bereavements close together are very difficult to understand and get jumbled up together. I would highly recommend talking to someone - I don’t know how Cruse are working during Covid but I am sure they continue to offer support. Do you have any close friends or other family you could talk to? x

I am so sorry to read the awful time you have experienced. Even reading it feels quite overwhelming so to have lived through that must be hell. First of all, give yourself credit that you are still here, still fighting and still existing. What an achievement.

i can’t say I know how you feel, no one does. But I lost my mum 4 weeks ago, she was only 50 and she died 4 weeks after being told she had cancer. I don’t know most of my family and don’t have much support from the few I do know. I feel incredibly alone, angry and everything just feels pointless. 
I am not surprised you didn’t cry at a time when you felt like you should have been. You have been through more grief, distress and trauma in a relatively short time than anyone should have to bear. Through all that, your brain chemicals will have gone completely haywire. What you are feeling at any given time is completely acceptable and there is nothing wrong with you at all.

what is wrong is the unfairness of life and the bad luck you have been dealt. Please reach out to a counsellor if you feel that you can, some charities offer this service. For example, where I am, cancer support Scotland have a 1-2 week waiting list to be assigned to a qualified counsellor experienced in providing support to patients and families affected by cancer. It’s so important to get support and sometimes speaking to those who know us is too painful for them and us.

If this feels too much and If all you feel you can do is write a message, please reach out to me. I’m here. Xx