Lost my mum and hearing times a healer doesn't help

Dear NatAng,

I lost my mother at a young age back in the fall of 2018 and I still miss her and feel like there is a hole in my heart. Not a day goes by when I don't see something that I wish she had been around to see. I guess what time has done has made me more comfortable with the feeling of loss and that hole in the heart. They are still there but no longer scare me. It is a feeling that is just hard to describe. I liken it to an picture of an old toy that I used to love to play with that I no longer have. If I had the toy with me, it would be a delight. But I still have the memories of that toy and though it is no longer there, those memories can still make me happy. 

I hope I have many years left on this earth but I am no longer afraid of that hole in my heart or of the sadness of missing my mother. I take them with me like a battle scar in life and celebrate the fact that I have lots of good memories of our time together.

Best wishes

Thank you for your message. 

I hope I too will get to where you are, I'm sure I will. At the moment even though I have wonderful memories of the most amazing mum, it hurts too much to think about most of them. 

Best wishes to you and thank you again 

Hi NatAng, 

I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my mum in April this year and I totally understand how you are feeling. I sometimes feel like I am putting on a brave face listening to people’s kind words about time and give yourself time and it will get easier. 
Right now I don’t want time to pass I want it to rewind, I want just one more min, hour or day with my mum. Everything hurts and the next min I think I am coping great and then I am numb. I don’t Know how to explain it, I hope being part of this community will help. Hugs x 

Hi Kirst86,

Thank you for your message.  I totally understand how you are feeling, that's just how I am. Everything seems fine,I think I'm coping well and then suddenly something hits me from nowhere.

I don't want time to pass either, because I feel then I'm further away from my mum. Further from seeing her. 

I am so sorry for your loss also. I'm sure you are coping as well as anyone can expect. I think probably there will be ups and downs for a long time. 

Thank you again for your message, it's good to know there are other people out there that can understand what you are going through.

X

Dear NatAng

I resent that term 'Time heals' I personally find it patronising. And I fully understand your feelings concerning it. Time doesn't heal but things do become bearable as time goes on. And the further time goes on the less one thinks about the bad times. Yet there will always be the odd occasion when a song is played, or certain smell comes about that will bring a tear or two. But it is bearable. Believe me. Often followed by a mellow feeling that can bring a smile to your face because of the good times. But at the  moment go along with your feelings and emotions. Just let the hurt out in anyway it triggers you. Holding back doesn't work as it will manifest itself some other way thats inconvenient. 

Love and Light 

Geoff x

Hi Geoff,

Thanks for your message. It just helps knowing other people have been through or are going through similar things and so can relate to how it feels.

I've been finding it hard as I used to always see my mum for a holiday in August and her birthday is coming up. It almost feels harder than to begin with as I keep thinking it's longer and longer since I last saw her. But I am trying to just let it out more and accept that's how it will be for a while.

I look forward to a time when remembering her isn't so painful. Thanks again for your kind words 

Natalie