My mum passed two weeks ago. I've been the one arranging everything sorting paperwork etc... Obviously due to covid19 I've not been able to visit family etc as much as normal, I'm off work, the wee ones off school. So I'm just in this little home bubble. My mum had been in ill for about 2 years in and out of hopssiatl with various complications of her cancer, we've obviously avoided her to avoid any possible covid19 contamination so I've not seen her properly in about a month. Just sitting out in garden and video calls... She withered and wasted away towards the end then died quite violently if am honest so I've been thinking she's out of pain now so that's a plus... I'm gutted when I think about the grandkids being without her growing up cos they were her world.. but I only really get upset when I sit and think about things in detail... When my mum died I thought I'd be wailing and lying in bed all day we were close... But I feel fine.... Not sure if it's an acceptance it was Gona happen, or the covid19 limbo or I'm a sociopath.. lol... But I'm ok.. I'm laughing with my partner.. having fun with my kid.. my brother who lived with her and was very close is devestated laying in bed all day drinking.. we've not had the funeral yet and dunno if it'll hit me then... But I've arranged everything, I'm also now the elected person for caring for her partner so I'm busy..
I thought my mum would be on my mind every second.... And she's only there when I bring her to the forefront of my thoughts
Am I a psychopath?
