Dreading New Year

Sunshine!! So lovely to hear from you.

Hi lovely ladies,

I wanted to drop a quick message as Sunshine spurred me on to write to you. Even though we've each said we're not on here as much, does it not mean something.....WE'RE FINDING A WAY TO COPE! Sure we all think of each other and how we're getting on but we're also trying to find ways to get through each day and that is a big part of accepting what has happened.

Sure, after 20 months, I wouldn't say I missed my mum any less. I still struggled through Christmas day and had a little cry whilst my dad had gone to bed and I was running a bath but if you're honest with yourselves, do you not reflect on this time last year and realise just how much you've all overcome since last year?? I know I do. 

Sunshine - let the waves come and then go tomorrow, as you have done before. Remember your mum, cry, laugh but do anything you want.

I was to raise an electronic toast to you all for 2020 - sure, we won't forget our wonderful mums for a second (or GBear's friend) but let's make it a good one and make them proud.

Lots of love xxxx

We’ll be there in spirit and thought with you , be strong.

As Kate wisely points out - we are indeed coping! More than that we are being the strong, determined representatives of them that our Mums would be proud of. No, of course we don’t miss them any less - they know that - but we continue to live on for them despite the ache in our hearts and that is the best tribute we could give them.

We’ve got this guys!!

Take care.

xx

Ah , its understandable to feel new year being a very difficult time, sending you gentle hugs.

What wise words Kate and yes I often think about you all and I just wanted to wish you all a very good new year, here's to 2020 raising a glass to you all.

So good to hear from everyone again, it's so nice that we've been able to keep in touch here through all the ups and downs of this last year.

Tonight is a strange one - let it be what it will. We're popping over to see another couple and their little boy for some food and maybe a game or two. Mum always had her traditions at New Year: not partying in her case (well not since her 40s I think!!) but making sure the house was tidy and clean, and opening the back door to let the old year out, and the front door to let the new year in. I'll do it myself once we're back home just after midnight, and my sister will do the same in our family home - at about 9.30pm when she goes to bed :) lol. 

Thank you for the wisdom, support, kindness, friendship and community you've all shared so freely that has meant so much. Wishing you robins, rainbows, lilacs, roses - whatever symbol speaks most to you of your special person on the other side - and rubber rings for those choppy seas when they rise.

I hope that 2020 is starting to look a little more positive for you and your loved ones and I wish you all good things to come

Lots of love from Emma xxx

Aww thanks guys. Xx 

Kate such wise words. I often think wow, look how far I have come. I am building a good life for myself , just as my mum, would want. She will always be with me, guiding me along the way. 

Yesterday I was just kind to my self and recognise it's ok, not to be ok.

Today I'm just having a PJ day, tidying around, making a big roast. Just pottering. Having some me time. I'm learning self care is so important. and to be the best you, you gotta look after you. 

My life had changed so much and I am adjusting with the comfort of knowing all my mum wanted for me ,was to be happy. Xx 

Wishing you all a peaceful 2020. I will pop on now and again throughout the year. Xx 

Nothing wrong at all , having me time and also having a PJ day and its OK not to be OK so many don't understand that one but we all do. Gentle hugs your way.

Wishing you all a peaceful and positive 2020. Our mum’s are always with us and guiding us through life xx

Hey guys. Hope the start of 2020 been kind to you. 

I had a nice start, I had a big birthday turned 40 my family and good friends, truly spoilt me.  My mum would have been very proud of them. She loved birthdays and would have made a fuss, of her baby turning 40. Xx

But since then,  I've been run down, super tired. Like exhaustion, but not sleeping. And tonight. Had a major wave. Today I just wanted my mum.  I'm struggling, without my best friend. The one person who would always make it ok. Im thankful to have 38.5 yes of love and support. I feel no one gets me, like she did. I feel no one understands. I feel lonely in a sea of people. Then Xxi get angry that unfair on the people , who adore me. Xx 

I'm gonna try and have a good night sleep.xx some times this greiving stuff, is super hard. I just need to share. X Thanks for listening x

Hey

Firstly many happy (belated) returns for your “big” birthday - I’m glad you had a lovely time.

I’m sorry to hear you got hit by a wave today. I know there isn’t anything I can say that will really help but, as I was awake, I just wanted to reach out and say you’re not alone - we are all of us treading this path together and there is always someone here to listen.

Keep strong and remember to be the person your Mum would want you to be - she will always be in your heart.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

Take care, big hugs xx

Thank You Spu. For your kind words. Xx Super tough isn't it. Xx