Dreading New Year

I hope Boris is behaving himself.

kate I do hope your Dads birthday goes OK.

caramel biscuits are my favorite with a nice pot of tea.

The weather is definitely gone back to winter, although to be fair its been not that bad here today. Yes its been mixed but we have had sunshine, rain, wind, hail and snow. What a change from the other week, its no wonder these bugs are going round. I know its got to be hard and everyone, with mothers day coming up i understand why sadly its hard for you its hard for me in another way. But for a tragic reason too it took years to get over but I never forget and its understandable to fond it hard but we all understand.

Sending you all a big hug

Yes, I think it would be better to just switch the television off Lou. As you said, cancer adverts and now the Mothers Day adverts. 

I always have to have a biscuit with my cup of tea. There’s always plenty of chocolate in the house. Mum always got my niece an Easter egg every year, so will keep mums tradition and get an egg for my niece xx

Like I said the other week, I wish there was something helpful I could say SPu. As Lou said, we are all here thinking of each other. It is such a struggle, mum is constantly in my thoughts, even when I’m trying to keep busy. 

A little dog would have helped me, good company etc, but, if you have read my previous posts, my dad says no, I even put Crufts on yesterday - hint, hint dad, but, the answer still no. 

The weather here has been a mixture of everything, sunny, gales, rain and snow. 

I don’t think I could give up biscuits/chocolate. Have been a chocoholic for years. 

Sending you strength too xx

Hello lovely ladies - 

Thank you for all your kind wishes to my dad for his birthday. It’s been a rocky old road this weekend. Really tough. As I’ve already mentioned, miss my mum so much, my heart aches. I keep thinking she’ll pop her head around a door. I look at pictures of her with my niece around the house and cannot believe all that is left of her is her ashes. I know she’s in me and my sister still but like a child, wish I could shut my eyes and she was there. 

Windy old day here too in Norfolk. Hail, sunshine, rain and wind. Just before we sat down to have our meal earlier - there she appeared, a rainbow in the sky. I was running around looking for her and she showed up - didn’t let me down. 

Anyway, thinking of you all always and for the week ahead. Thank you for listening to me. 

Lots of love to you all, Kate xxxx

Hey lovely crew (Boris and Dexter too)

Sorry to hear that some of you are having a tough week. Sending you best wishes. Xx

It's my niece and nephew birthday next week. Makes me soon sad their Nanny, won't be here. But their lovely mum and grandad and I will make it special. Just like Nanny would want. Xx Mother day will be super hard too. I will miss spoiling my beautiful mum. If im totally honest, its always been a funny old

day for me. I have not been blessed with children and even thou this is something I came to terms with a long time ago. And im happy with my life. There's was one person who got it. She didn't even have to say anything. She just knew.  XXX my beautiful mum. She knew me better than anyone. She just give me a little hug. Tell me I'm great for who I am. With the world of FB and Instagram. There such pressure for the perfect life. And actually sometimes that life is bit different to others. But that's ok. My mum taught me so much. To be thankful for what I have. XXX  sorry rambling can't sleep. God that 5am alarm gonna be a killer. XXX 

P.s I got new phone today. Taking some getting used too. Xx sorry for not errors. Xx

Hope you all have a peaceful week. Xx

Sunshine - sending birthday wishes to your niece and nephew. It’s my birthday at the weekend. My sister said she will take us to the beach, which will be nice, just wish mum was here. There’s always going to be that feeling of someone missing - our lovely mum. I don’t have children and have never wanted children, but my sister has a daughter and she has brought so much joy into our life’s, especially mum’s. My niece always had mum and me doing things - painting, jigsaws, putting on plays, one thing that always made mum laugh was when me and my niece did the river dance. There is a lot of pressure on people these days, with social media, I’m so pleased Facebook etc wasnt around when I was young. As with your mum sunshine, mum knew me better than anyone else and was always there for me. 

Wishing you a peaceful week too xx

Your right and nowadays there is lots of pressure on Facebook etc and lots of other media sites of how a prefect image, life should be. I no fan of social media at all although some things are for good some sadly get abused. Happy Birthday to your nice and nephew sunshine. 

I too don't have children. It was a decision I made but strangely when my choice was taken because of womb cancer and having a total hysterectomy its surprising how I felt guilty not giving my parents grandchildren. Its strange how choices are fine but once a choice is taken it feels very different. I don't have TV only watch DVDs so I suppose I am sheltered from the difficult cancer ads, mothers day etc. I am always told the first birthday, Christmas etc is the hardest. But to be fair we are all different and can deal with things differently. Ironically I still feel a shudder the day before mothers day because that's when a relative was killed and another injured by a terrorist attack. Even though it was a very long time ago. But its the sudden loss that's difficult, no matter sadly how we lose loved ones its serves as a constant reminder. But then I look and think well how would they want us to remember them by. Should we be sad and feel we can't celebrate or do we posthumously celebrate their birthday, mother's day etc I be honest I have always been on the fence about this. We recently celebrated my friends birthday it was something he insisted on to his wife and myself, I felt weird about it but I was also happy to honor his wishes but its difficult too. So please never feel you can't celebrate their life, their love. Its OK to say no I just can't deal with this but from lots of posts I have read here I can also see a desire to honor them by making it special for the children etc, that's a difficult thing but I really respect it too.

Sending a big hug to all

Awww sunny43, sounds like me and my niece and nephew. They are the centre of our family. My nephew is really chilled. My niece is a crazy daisy like her auntie River dance sounds fab. We've been know to do  Bit of Irish dancing too. My mum use to laugh so much. Xx my family home was always full of laughter and love. So we continue for my niece and nephew. Hope you have  nice birthday. Xx

Awww it's certainly is difficult Hear, when that choice is taken away. Xxx

I agree its different for everyone. I found Christmas managble. Because l knew my mum would want us to keep it special. She loved Christmas and wouldn't have want anything else. New year was very hard. Its my mums birthday too, we did have a meal to honour her birthday and raised a glass early eve. But midnight was horrid. Going into a new year without her. I don't know if I'll ever be able to celebrate it gain in the tradtional sense. Xx

I personally find diffrent kind of first hard.  

Like -

First time me and my fella had words. - mum would never take side and say "your both as bad each other" sometimes you need that tough love, to ground you. 

First time I needed advise work related - she always had sound advise

First time i was poorly - nothing like. Mother love when your poorly

And odd thing like when I'm cooking me think "who would know that" Mum XXX 

And many little things.  I guess its hard when someone you love, was such a big factor and influence in your life and all of a sudden you have to face live solo. I know I was very lucky to have 38 years of being protected. Xx 

I just keep thinking of her wishes, how she raised me. And everything I do. I try to do the way she would want XXX 

Sorry I men GBear not Hear xx