Dreading New Year

Oh dear Sunshine - sending you lots of love today. I haven’t yet reached the year mark but it’s looming. You’re being so brave and there is no doubt your mum would be so proud of the courage you’re showing to carry on. 

I do understand that pain and emotion, so you’re never alone in those thoughts - just a different journey. 

We’re still here anytime xxxx 

ps. I’ve booked 4 days in August to go to Ibiza. Not to party, to run. Mum loved the chilled and relaxed vibe of Ibiza and we went a couple of times. I’ve decided I’m going to carve a her initials on a tree somewhere when I run. Got a really good deal so should anyone be keen to join me, I’m there from 19th August to the 22nd xxx

Aww Hi Kate, 

Very odd emotions this weekend. Feels like the first few days, feel numb. Its also almost like "oh this ----, is real, I'm on my own now (of course Ive alway know, it's real) it's just when you concentrating on being ok and making little steps. It's the harsh reality. That this is now reality. If that make sense. I'm feel so very lost I'm a sea of people. 

Ibiza sounds brilliant. Have the best time. It's lovely to do things our mum's would love. 

Today I had breakfast with my dad, walked her beloved dog and dinner with my family. My niece said when we all together we play games. So we had a quiz. It was lovely. My mum would have been beaming. XXX 

.....and I bet she was beaming, from above. I know it’s what you believe but I don’t believe their presence is ever far away. I question how to do things and I take a deep breathe and know mum taught me.

One thing I will say, that old phrase - be kind to yourself moments after today. I haven’t experienced this yet but I imagine it’s another milestone that’s brings along some other emotions afterwards too. 

Keep finding the strength and courage Sunshine - we’re all with you xxxxx

Sunshine, sending so much love on this day and every day. Love to your memory of your wonderful mum, too. You are incredible, this is so often so very hard and you're doing an amazing thing every day in keeping going and feeling the love and the pain when it comes. Like you say your mum would be so proud of you. We're all here, doing as much as we can do to help each other as we pass through those milestones on our individual journeys. I am so glad to have your company, ladies.

Kate, that's a great thing to do - sounds like the perfect mini break and a lovely way of expressing your love for you mum. I've really let the running slip lately but have downloaded a half marathon training plan to try and get back into it. All being well I'll start this week. 

Had a calm few days myself, following a longer stormy time. Love my mum, always and forever. 

Take care of yourselves everyone, we are all still our mum's daughters, or as GBear still our friends' close friends - we'll never lose the connection with those we love. Sending my best wishes to everyone for the week ahead and all it may bring.

Emma

xxx

Thank you lovely ladies. Feel very odd today. Just flat. But as you said I'm gonna be kind to myself. I booked today off work. So I can just chill and gather my thoughts. Xx 

Thank you for your kind words. 

Xx

Hello all - the journey that we are all on is so difficult. You will all know what I mean, when I say I feel very lost, the one person that you want the most is not here. Taking a day at a time, is really the only thing I can do, the future without mum is a scary place, even though I’m 44, I was always mum’s little girl. Would give anything to be saying - good morning mum, again. Thinking of you Sunshine, a year since your mum passed. As you said our lovely mum’s would be proud of us, they are always with us xx

Hey Sunny 43,

That's exactly how I feel, completely lost. I think it's been a whirlwind year of  so much emotion. Now in the cold light of day. That this is it and my life has changed soooo much. Heading into another year with out her stings. It's make me think about ever aspect of my life, question every little thing.

I had 38 years of a settled life and now it's completely upside down. I know I just need to carry on with the small steps. Xx

Everything you wrote Sunshine is so true. The passing of mum has turned mine and my family’s life upside down. My emotions are sky high at the moment and like you, I question every little thing. I also had a settled life with mum and now my life has been truly knocked off the tracks. All we can do is take the little steps and carry on with life as best we can xx

I think you need it , a year goes fast or slowly but memories are with us all the time. Remember the good, even if its hard some times to be able to do this.

, ah Kate I hope you have a great time in Ibiza and carving her name in a tree somewhere on your run sounds really very nice, I am sure she would love that.