Dreading New Year

Hi all

We do have to be kind to ourselves. It is an horrendous journey that we are all on - losing our mum’s, then having to cope with the grief/pain/hurt. I often feel as though I’m in a boxing ring, then im knocked out by those huge waves of grief. Somehow, I manage to get up and continue. I’m sure it’s my mum’s strength within me, urging me to continue with life and never give up. Hope is what we all cling on to. Hope is what we live for, there are a lot of awful days, but, we hope that tomorrow may be a little better.

Wishing you all a peaceful weekend xx

Sunny43 beautiful words. XXX couldn't agree more, I know mum gives me strength, and she will continue to. I can ride this wave because, I'm hers. Xxxx 

Well its been a mixed week, a few things going wrong like my phone has packed in - great! Strange because you call it you hear it ringing but at my end nothing had it a while but i am annoyed. So that finished the week that started well I think, had a good day Monday really enjoying my art class it helps take my mind off things. Had a bad day middle of the week and yesterday had a good chat about my friend to someone who really understood how strange and strong the wave of emotions are. I know how I feel about my friend but I realise how hard for you all who have lost a Mum, Dad relative in general. But its our love for them that causes us pain but also on the flip side our loved ones know how much we all cared for them and they would of known that. I think this is why in a way they are always with us to ride the waves sort of speak. 

Try and have a good bank holiday weekend everyone hopefully the weather will be ok, i am off to the phone shop to get a replacement sorted tomorrow. It be interesting to see if I lose all my phone contacts, sometimes i have and sometimes I haven’t so see what happens.

sending you all love and best wishes and strength 

Well after my phone went blank I thought it was time for replacement. But the next morning it started working again although I lost some photos and phone contacts. I was annoyed because I had just taken a photo of a friend at his celebration for winning an award and that was when my phone went blank. All I can think of is it must of froze, although its never done it before. But I will look at others phones on the market and see what's available incase it happens again but ends up permanent.

I hope everyone had a lovely bank holiday, hopefully weather was OK. The weather wasn't too bad for us although we did get some rain mostly overnight and a few showers. But the sun is definitely warmer. 

Glad to hear your phone is ok. Sorry that you lost some photos though. Had a quiet bank holiday. It was non stop rain here yesterday. Think the weather is going to improve by the weekend xx

Hey you lovely lot. Hope your all well. Xx 

Been a while. I have struggled last few weeks. Lots of big wave and to be honest rocky in between. My aneixty has been through the roof. I  just missed my mum soooooooo much. Lots going on here and just missing the unconditional love and support. She got me like no one else in the world. Even thou when I was growing up it drived me bonkers. But she just knew me.Xx

I just wish I could have the biggest snuggles, with her right now. You know that mum hug, that like no other. XXX 

Wishing for a calmer couple of days. 

Love to all XXX 

Hi Sunshine,

I’ve been meaning to write to you all this week. Works still consuming a lot of my time it seems and then when I get to the weekend, I have the biggest crash and spent a lot of time feeling sad and low about mum. Everything you wrote above I agreed with and this morning, I was stood in the bathroom still in utter shock that she’s no longer here! 

Works going well but I miss mum so much, as you mentioned. Running helps but sometimes even that’s not enough! 

Anyway, thinking of you all always and sending lots of love and floats. Praying for some calmer waves xxxx

My 16k from the Saturday eve x

Hi all

Can totally relate Sunshine and Kate. I’m missing mum so, so much too. It feels like I’m hit by  a ton of bricks and the loss is horrendous. There are not enough words to describe how I feel and I’m sure by you all -  how it feels to lose our mum’s. Mum was my biggest supporter and just got me too. I know I’m very lucky to have my dad, sister and niece, but, sometimes I feel like the loneliest person, would give anything to have my mum back.

Well done Kate on the 16k Run - beautiful picture.

Take care everyone xx

Awww ladies completely relate, I too, feel soooo lonely. I have an amazing network. (So then I feel guilty, feeling like this) But my mum and I were so close, she was my best friend. So now as the months have past, the loneliest has kicked  in.  At first everyone is about, then life rolls on. It's evident just how HUGE part of of my every day life, she was. Its left a HUGE gap and that hurt like hell. X

Im soooo exhausted too, I try so hard to be positive and keep going, build the life, my mum wanted. But I'm struggling missing my best friend. Think I have hit a wall. Xx so I'm gonna rest up and be kind to my self. Must admit gym gone out window. (I feel emotionally and physically drained)  But think I'll go back, this weekend. Well done with the running Kate. That's amazing. Lovely picture. Xx 

Best wishes to you both. Xxx

Hi Sunshine and Sunny and all -

Yep to everything you just said about leaving a big gap. I just spent the last 15 minutes in my bathroom waiting for my bath to run in tears. I messaged a friend and there response was ‘what triggered that?’ Feel so alone in my grief with no one really understanding or (apart from my sister and dad) really knowing what that feels like.

Don’t understand why life can be so cruel xxxxx