I’ve always suffered with health anxiety to a degree, but since my beloved Dad was diagnosed with terminal Cancer earlier this year (he died two months ago at the age of 67) my health anxiety, particularly around Cancer, has gone into overdrive.
I’m already seeing a private therapist so I talk about this with her, but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I feel like I am going insane. Sometimes I’m absolutely fine, but the moment I experience any symptom that is slightly off, I convince myself its Cancer.
I guess it party makes sense – ya know, everyone thinks “it will never happen to me” but then, it happened to Dad. So it could happen to me. And I struggle with the acceptance that we, none of us, know if we will get Cancer or not. The fear of the unknown I guess.
I just wondered if anyone else had experienced this since losing someone?
Absolutely. After my mum passed age 67 from a short battle with cancer, after previously being fit and healthy, I was left devastated. I suffered 2 years of anxiety and particularly health anxiety. Even 3 years on I still have my health anxiety moments. It's easy to understand why we feel this. Interestingly I wasn't the only one - my cousin also rushed to the GP worrying about cancer when my mum passed and my uncle was also affected. So it affects lots of us in this situation.
I don't know if that helps but one thing I did know is that anxiety in itself creates all sorts of health issues and aches and pains which can mimic other health problems. Try to accept that this is normal, take time and whatever you need to do to reduce the symptoms of anxiety.
It may well be years before you feel ok or months whatever is right for you. But accepting that this is completely normal may help. Xxxx
I can absolutely relate to this. My mum passed away in May from rectal cancer, she was 54 and was only diagnosed 5 months prior. She had never been ill in her life until this. If I have any kind of ache I convince myself that there's something gravely wrong, also paired with exhaustion, which I know is really common when grieving but it still makes me think that I'm ill. I begged my doctor for a blood test just to put my mind at ease, which is has, but I still get bouts of health anxiety. And general anxiety since shes gone. I also get anxious that my other half is ill, and my dad etc. There's a perfectly valid reason why I get so anxious about it too! But no one else seems to understand my concerns. I guess it's all part of the process? We're all in a club that we don't want to be in, you're in the right place to share your worries :)
Thank you Alice and Raggle, for responding. It helps to know I am not the only one. Sometimes it feels that way though. I get so consumed by health fears some days that I can't focus on anything else at all. And like you say, it can be a self-perpetuating thing because the anxiety then exacerbates my percieved symtoms and I worry even more!
What a nightmare. I really hope this subsides because I dont fancy living in fear forever! Much love to you (and anyone else reading)...what an utterly shit club to be a part of eh! But I am grateful for the shared stories and experiences.
Yes. This has happened to me. In fact it's happening right now. I've always been an over thinker but never about health. I've experienced panic attacks and anxiety. I've had stomach problems due to the stress and shock. I miss the old me, tired of thinking about getting cancer or having a heart attack. I had a telephone assessment for counselling and they said it was health anxiety. They recommended CBT but 4 weeks down the line I'm still waiting for a call back with a group near me.
Have you thought about an online mindfulness course? They are meant to help. I've bought one but need to find the time to use it. I have goof days and bad. I hope things pick up and improve for you. There really isn't enough understanding about this type of effect from grief.
I'm in a similar situation to you, my Dad died of Cancer two months ago. I have always suffered with OCD, and since loosing him, I find I am worrying and obsessing about the little things. People tell me not to worry and to concentrate on the bigger things and getting myself well. But I think stress from grief manifests itself as worry and uncontrollable anxiety. I'd say what your going is normal, and yes I worry about Cancer too. But to some extent all we can do is look after ourselves and our bodies, I think the shock of death happening so quickly make you reconsider life as well. Have you spoke to your doctor about your chances of getting the disease and what you can do to prevent it? I'm trying to get the BRCA test done, to see if I have the gene.
I think anxiety after losing someone is perfectly normal. I've not been so much worried about cancer but I have felt extreme anxiety over other parts of my life to the point of getting panic attacks, which I've never had before my mum passed away.
I started my first CBT session this week so hopefully it will help. Might be worth looking into some kind of therapy for you to help you deal with your thoughts/loss?
In answer to some of your questions, I am indeed in therapy (I pay to go private because the NHS sadly can't offer what I need in a speedy and convenient way) which does help.
In terms of checking if I have the gene, I'm not worried about that - my Dad was the first person to get Cancer in my family and his was a lifestyle one (oesophagus, due largely to smoking and drinking) but I think it can just get you whether you're pre-disposed to it or not! I am a really healthy person so can't do much more than I already do to prevent it. Ironically, I think the side effects of all my anxiety would be more likely to kill me!
You're right in that there isn't really enough awareness into this particular side effect of grief. It's so up and down. I'm told, by others who have been through something similar in the past, that you just have to ride it out and that it does get better. I really hope so!
I'm so sorry for your loss of your dad. I lost my dad in March 2015, 2 weeks after he'd been diagnosed with stomach cancer that had spread to his liver.
I'm responding here because I can relate so much to the health anxiety that you are experiencing, having experienced it after my dad died. Whilst it still rears it's head from time to time, it has eased from the debilitating fear it initially was in the first weeks / months after my loss so I guess I wanted to reassure you that it does get better with time. It is, as you say, evident that people who are incredibly healthy still can, sadly, get cancer as it's such an evil disease.
Thoughts and strength to you and everyone else here. x
Thank you Elsie. I am sorry for you too - two weeks is an incredibly quick space of time to process the news and then lose him. Must have been very hard. I had about 9 months from start to finish with mine...so I had time to process but nothing really prepares you.
You have reassured me, thank you. It does help to hear other people's stories.
Thank you for your reply and kind words. My dad's experience of cancer was truly awful - it was like a catalogue of terrible things happening one after the other, in quick succession - so quick that my mum and I barely had time to process each one. Sorry if I've said too much there - it's just 'nice' when someone understands the awfulness of it all, if that makes sense. (Although, of course, it would be better if people didn't get it because that would mean they hadn't been through similar trauma.)
I just wanted you to know I appreciated your understanding.
