Dogs vs Humans - no contest - beware its a rant

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This is a rant... but might just help save some of my long term human relationships. Maybe this belongs in the Ranting Room but for you to read or not. ...

The back drop is it is 5 months since my partner died from cancer and this week has been difficult. 3 Days after the funeral we went into lock down isolation plus and somehow coming out feels quite tricky...

DOGS because....

They don't ask you relentless questions you cannot answer... The don't give advice...., they don't say really stupid things like,"its so soon, its been 5 months are you getting better"  ."nice to be getting out again and getting back to normal (Covid shite talk)"   my normal is not back to normal,.... .   

They don't start pretending they are experts by one remote experience.......a cavalier King Charles I knew had cancer of the X ........they don't offer opinions and more opinions and more opinions......

The dogs are are still here and don't leave a crater in my guts/heart/innerds/giblets.............they are always there and friends seem to think its all done and are off not being there .........they give me unconditional love and gaze at me when I am alone in the house most of the time..........they have loved lockdown and don't moan about it........

They don't give a F~@* whether they have had a hair cut or their nails done .........they don't demand (much apart from biscuit, squirrel, walk ).......they gaze and love me........they don't pretend to be experts  in bereavement when they haven't been through it...........

I am trying to be more dog....just take it slow, easy and wag but I am finding the humans difficult. 

I  feel better for posting, maybe like I have just cocked my leg on the neighbours bicycle.  I didn't know where else to put these feelings. Hope you are feeling dog today - 

  • Dear NellieJ

    I think you have a wonderful style of writing. Just quickly scanning through new posts tonight l read it and liked it. Later l wanted to read it again so l have now found it. Also your beautiful piece about losing your partner. lt is so beautifully written, the love and grief so real l can feel it. l'm so sorry for your loss.

    l'm not surprised you are finding coming out of lockdown difficult. What is normal when you've lost your partner? 

    We love our dogs. Mine make me laugh out loud every single day.  Yours have inspired you to write this wonderful post about them, there is so much comfort to be had from a good dog (or two, or more)

    LouEbelle Heart
  • LouEbelle, thank you - I tend to take to ranting safely and this forum feels safe. I see you are going through the mill, sending you heartfelt good wishes and hope that you and your partner navigate it. I used to say that cancer was the third party in the relationship, sometimes it was in first place, but when we managed to get it into third place we made space for me and my partner to feel like we had it in control. Such a difficult time for so many - hope your day goes as well as can do

  • Couldn't agree with you more. Old Sam, Young Sam, Misty, Tammy, and Fellah would also agree.

  • Hello time enough 

    My old dog and my young dog say hi to your pack and enjoy a virtual sniff round.

    So sorry to read what is happening to you and your wife, just the fact that you are here in the online community will make it a little bit easier. But l really feel for you, l hate the way cancer puts everything on hold, especially now with this $#!# virus!

    I wish my partner would use the site, lm dure he would benefit, although he has joined in with some phone calls to Macmillan when l've needed more information about my cancer.

    So its a good thing you are here, there'll be plenty of people to guide you through this.

    By the way our dogs are yorkies. Ive downsized from big dogs (ridgebacks) these little dogs are fab. Nobody has ever told them they are only little, what breeds are your pack?

    LouEbelle Heart
  • How are you Nellie?

    Ive just watched the video about the reef, what a lovely, lovely idea.

    Hope you are ok and the dogs continue to comfort you


    LouEbelle Heart
  • Hello there and Louebelle hope you are doing ok and that you are getting the services you need. 

    These two twits liked sitting on my partners boat - he couldnt afford a flat and I was not having him live full time in my house- but it worked. THe little one is not really a mess of a terrier cross with a pyjama case and mop - he is a giant Alsatian crossed with a giant Mastiff who has had Judo lessons. The dim one near the camera thinks he is a giant squirrel hunting machine but is really a cross of a bad smelling furry slippers and a Guinea pig who would listen to The Carpenters all day. 

    They are my little dream boats.

  • Hi Nellie

    What a wonderful picture, l used to live by a river estuary and miss those sights and sounds ans sometimes the smells of the river/sea.

    l understand fully about dogs with their version of body dismorphia....Our little one has spent his entire life making love with his penguin, he has a large collection of penguins. He watches nature documentaries if they are about penguins. The bigger one who is only a year old is definately a spring lamb on a pogo stick. We bought her on the last thursday of feb this year, apparently the owners wife was allergic to her. The following tuesdsy l'm coming around from the anaesthetic following my op to diagnose womb cancer. When l checked my phone there was a message..."Can we have our dog back?" Try and guess what l said....

    I've not long got back from a trip to the hospital for a blood test. A nice day out on a bank holiday. Chemo number 5 come wednesday if everything is ok, which l imagine it is as l feel absolutely fine.

    I'm glad you've got back to me, l'm thinking about you. I will now attempt to add the picture of the dogs, lets see how this goes.....

    LouEbelle Heart
  • Thanks for that comment, it does help. I've listed most of the rough collies that the extended family has had over several decades.

  • You are so on point Nellie.  I couldn’t have said any of it better. I at the moment am very disappointed in family. And believe me it should mean something I hail from a large family- eight sisters and four brothers, all from the same little woman and not so little dude. If my sweet little Mother hadn’t passed away from lung cancer 16 yrs ago she would be kicking some serious ass a about now lol. My sweetie Roxanne looks at me with such love and compassion it helps everyday. And I know damn well it’s not all to get more treats, maybe just a little lol

    Please give me the strength to change what I can, accept what I can't change and the wisdom to know the difference.

    Love and Respect Tony

  • There is something about how they gaze at you - or how funny they are. The honesty and openness of a dog goes a long way. But I know I will always be second place if a squirrel was infront of me. Love the thought of Louebells one humping a penguine and Roxanne looks magnificant. Also a rough collie or two or three or four sounds a good idea.