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My mum is still with us.  She is fighting on, although is getting more pain as her organs shut down.  She is sedated and is being given painkillers through a syringe.  We take it in turns to keep a watch over mum and this morning, I woke up at 5.30am due to all the commotion in the house.  She was in a lot of pain and we called out the nurses, who upped her meds.  We thought she was going to leave us this morning, but she is still here with her.  Even though she cannot respond, I am glad that she can still hear what we say to her. 

It's difficult to know where my mum's pain is, because she is carrying it in such a dignified and graceful way.  Mentally, she is so strong and I admire her so much for this. 

We are expecting it any time.  As for me, I have had a school chasing me for work for the last few days (I work as a supply teacher).  It was a long-term, but temporary position.  At first, I said no to them, because of the circumstances and said that I couldn't come in for interview at the moment. But they kept calling me and I finally agreed to discuss the position with them. 

They wanted me to start on Monday, but when I explained the circumstances, they were unsympathetic and said they were going with someone else.  Being with mum is much more important to me right now. 

I have been so tired over the last few days.  I had an hour's nap earlier on this afternoon because I just felt so mentally shattered. 

Finally, I want to thank everyone on here who have been so kind with their good wishes.  I really do appreciate your support. x

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Yilmaz,

    Hard emotional time for you right now, and my heart goes out to you in this diffricult time.  Good on you for putting your mum before a job.  A job can be got anytime, but being with your mum can never come around again. Will be thinking of you, hugs to you, Jan xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Yil,

    You are going through the hardest time Yil, and, you are doing an amazing job.  You must be so proud of your lovely mum for the dignity and courage she is showing.  I hope she is more comfortable now and that she remains so.  As Jan said, you are right to put your mum first, the job can wait.  Their loss if they are being unsympathetic.  Take care of yourself and we are all thinking of you and your mum.

    Nic xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    You know what i think hun and you are doing brilliantly.  Your mum is very lucky to have you as you are her, but i know you both know that.

    You are in my heart and my thoughts.

    I pray  your mum stays painfree now.

    Love to you all xxxxxxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    hug her, kiss her, tell her you love her as much as possible because when she has gone you do all that but only to her memory. It is the worst thing to witness but she will know you are there and being there will help you after, how ever horrific this may seem now

    all my love to you and your family xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    yil, youll find the strength from all that your mum has given to you through out your life and all that she taught you and all the love she has shown to you ,this is what will comfort you in the journey ahead,may she be pain free and peaceful in her final days,i feel for you and your family at this sad time,mazz x