My mum's condition has deteriorated rapidly over the past few days. Yesterday, the doctors at the hospice told us that the end was near for my mum and that she had a few days to live. I don't know how it happened and it's almost as if something happened overnight Sunday to push her into the final stage.
Today she arrived home. We have a special hospital bed in the dining room and we are sitting with her. My sister and I had a talk with her and we said what we wanted to say. Her pupils are fixated at the moment and she can't talk coherently at all. But she can hear us though.
People have been coming to visit her all evening. We have been told to expect her to go at any time now. I was very angry for a while today. Angry because I felt, and still do feel a little, that the doctors have let my mum die. Somehow the 'there's nothing we can do' line really doesn't seem good enough. The resignation and defeatism in the face of cancer seems immoral.
My mum has done so much for me and I am forever in her debt. She is my hero and I have such deep admiration for the life she has led. I am so proud of her for what she has done. I told her all this today.
I've no idea how 'it' happens or what is the normal rate of deterioration. But I have been shocked and horrified by her decline in recent days. I honestly expected a few more months.
Anyway, just wanted to share.
