I went for an assessment with a bereavement counsellor this afternoon. She asked me some questions and I talked about my feelings about my Mum and about what had happened. She is going to assign me a counsellor and get back to me within a couple of weeks.
Lately, I have been finding it hard to cope with life. I am trying to move on: seeing friends, going out shopping, work when it is available- things which I would normally do. But, I feel like my Mum's passing has put it all into perspective. Everything I do in my life seems trivial and irrelevant compared with the loss of Mum. And all around me, the world is moving on. I feel like I need some support at the moment. I have lots of good friends, but everything moves on with life. At the time, my friends were supportive, but none of them have been through what I have and so don't realise how much this hits you afterwards. It's not their fault at all, and I do realise how difficult it is to support someone in this situation. I feel in some way that I am just expected to move on as well. I am trying to, but it's so hard. The feeling of emptiness and great sorrow is always there.
I find myself staring at where she used to sit and getting upset. There is a big hole in my life at the moment and I'm not sure how to deal with it at all. I am lucky to have had such a loving, kind-hearted Mum. But the loss of her is just so hard to bear.
