Early days

So it's now 9 sleeps till my op to remove the lump which from the ultra scan looked like a pokemon !

At the moment I am feeling very positive and feel I have been dealt this cancer card weather I like it or not so just have to get on with it

All my family and friends are being supportive apart from the kids who are being told Friday

My lovely brother brought me a amazing steam iron "to make my life easier " bless him .

Maria

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So its the day I have to tell my youngest kids today about the lump etc .

 Feeling really sick but also relived that I can finally stop the secrecy  .  Decided to pick fish and chips up on the way home fro work then just go from there . Wish I could see forward till the end of the day and know its going to be ok arghhhhhh .

So I have now told 2 out of my 3 kids about the breast cancer  just waiting for the 3rd to come home of her holiday tomorrow . I feel so sad having to tell them and seeing their faces so sad and scared .

I know I wont be able to get through this without their support but just feel awful having told them  , kind of like I am passing my problems on to them kind of thing  if that makes sense .

Am trying to stay all calm about the up and coming op on Thursday but am finding myself getting worked up and I really don't want to .

Hi Maria 712

Spilling the beans to children of any age is one of the hardest parts of this, you cannot help but feel guilty for all the emotional upset this causes but you do have to tell them and it is far better being up front and honest - they will appreciate that so much more than having to second guess everything.

Our daughter was only 2 months into her first year at uni (200 miles away) when Jackie was diagnosed - It was all we could do to stop her coming home - we just told her to put all her cancer angst into her studies and do it for her mum.

As soon as she accepted mum really was OK with all this and had purchased a family sized bag of Positive Mental Attitude pick n' mix to get her through it she was much happier.  You know your own children best and can keep an eye on any you think may struggle with the news you handed out but after the initial shock and the odd 'wobble day' teens are on the whole are great with stuff like this :)

They will take their cue from you, if you appear strong (on the outside) they will be too, if you always seem in despair it will have a negative effect on them emotionally which they could have trouble handling.

Serious as this is don't lose your sense of humour and try to keep things upbeat - It helps loads.

Hugs, G n' J

So here i am the day before the op and now i feel totally stressed and i'm so scared .  Wondered what my boob will look like after surgery tomorrow  the lump is 2cm but it feels more like a sausage to  .  Trying to think positive but its just not happening today arghhhhhhhhhh.