It's been a week since Mum died. Just like that, so unexpected.
I'm going to try to make sense of it here.
Mum was doing well, really positive.
She fell, but seemed ok. Have discovered that she couldnt use her legs after that.
Monday
Last Monday she had problems breathing and was taken to A+E. She was responding, sitting in bed, with oxygen. It just seemed like a temporary problem of some kind. We stayed…
Today I don't know what to do with myself. Am finding it hard (who here isn't?). I don't think I can talk to anybody, but I know I should. I should let go, let it out, I know. I don't even want to share what I'm putting here with people I know (have just insulted my wife by not showing her).
Have found something I can do though - I can hide behind my 1 year old!. Even though she's not trying to…
I've found a coping mechanism. It's called not thinking about it. Also known as pretending everything is fine. For some of the time I've even been able to persuade myself that there's nothing up and mum will be fine forever.
In the beginning I wilfully said to myself "OK, this is real. It IS happening". I thought I would get used to it. How do you get used to it? Do you start grieving now?…
