We were told on Thursday evening that my Dads cancer had spread. He had a large tumor removed a couple of months ago and it has returned with a vengence. He has adenocarcinoma of the salivary gland. Its quite rare so im told so would be good to hear of anyone with experience of it. I feel so ANGRY, (as im sure everyone does) because i feel that the doctors really dragged their feet with diagnosing and his operation to remove the original tumor. I feel so useless as usually I can fix things but this time, I don't stand a chance. My pops is 78 but so fit its unbelievable, apart, of course from this vicious disease. I feel quite strong today but I have days when I just break down and cant control my tears, which is no good for Dad. Hes been in hospital since Monday and will be there till next Friday when his 5 sessions of radiotherapy ends. I cant seem to win as I have been visiting everyday staying for several hours because I just hate the thought of him being on his own there, but in doing this im neglecting my family of a husband (who's been great ) and my 3 boys. For this I feel really guilty. On top of that my Mums mental health is poor so I have to keep an eye on her too. Im not resentful, im really not but im scared of what the future will hold. The thought of my Dad not being here is unbearable.
FormerMember
Thanks for your last post. You're really going through it too are'nt you. It never rains but it pours !
Holidays, I hope you managed to get away and have a good time and had good news on your return. Im due to go away for 2 weeks in August and what ever stage my Dad is at I know he would insist we go. I have ordered my brother not to go away and to be available but he's pretty useless.
Dad saw the consultant yesterday and was told that he does have a tumor on his lung. It appears that last time he spoke to her he did'nt quite get the information right. She did'nt seem overly concerned in starting chemo but has decided to leave it 4 weeks give him a scan and then look at the results and then decide what to do. unless of course he begins to get problems. well he already has an annoying cough and has been getting the odd pain in his chest. Call me stupid but as Dads cancer was an aggressive type, should'nt they be doing all they can now, before it spreads everywhere else. they have been talking of chemo to ease symptoms so, as he does'nt have many I suppose thats why they're holding back at the mo but surely if he had chemo now it may stop it from spreading any further. Any one out there in the know??
Last night my darling Dad died with me and my brother at his side. His brave battle has finally ended. What now ???
I cant imagine life without him being here as he has been for the past 44 years. I did'nt want to leave him last night, worried that the hospital wouldnt look after him properly. My brother and I have to tell our Mum the news soon. I think Mum has mild dementia as she does'nt seem to realise theextent of things. I travelled back from holiday yesterday to be with my Dad after receiving THAT call from the hospital. It involved a helicopter flight and two fabulous friends who drove a 400 mile round trip to pick me up. If it was'nt for them I wouldnt have made it.
I feel like I should be crying all the time but I got up at 5.30am and started unpacking and its only just now that im writing this that ive started to cry again. I feel angry that apart from his cancer Dad was so fit and healthy. I feel angry at the Doctors and oncologist thinking that they could have done more.
Dad knew at the end that we were there as he was having little sips of water. It keeps running in my mind, what was he thinking about at the end, how was he feeling, did he know that this was the end.......I love and respect you my Dad, I'll always love you and we, your children and grandchildren will never forget you, you'll always be here.xxxxxx
