Soapbox Sue

2 minute read time.

FormerMember

19 Feb 2011

Hi guys

So you can probably see already this is not going to be a pc blog. Its just I tormented over whether to say "guys and gals" (no just too Jimmy Saville) or be more formal "Hello Ladies and Gentleman", well you get the idea so please please forgive me and no offense meant to everyone out there who may pluck up a bit of courage and read my musings. I don't intend to do religious texts either or poetry (can only write rude limericks anyhow) or anything other than my thoughts which will be the real me giving vent to everything good and bad.

The one thing I have noticed already is that some family and friends have not even got in touch since I got diagnosed. Are they embarrassed, probaby feeling awkward, don't know what to say etc etc. Well let me say it for you - I HAVE CANCER. Please come up to me and give me a hug, wish me well it really really matters. I of course don't blame these people. I was like that a few weeks ago myself. But now it is major and I think we need to educate people not to shy away from it or us.

Heart attacks, strokes etc and its OK but cancer gets a bad press and who can blame it. It devastates families, and not just the patient but the carers too. The treatment is not a cosy pill glugged down with a sip of water and the after effects can last years but the more we can bring it into the open, one day perhaps we'll all feel able to not tippy toe around.

See, I got distracted, no wonder my wonderful husband Mark calls me "Soapbox Sue". Well the reason I decided to pick Macmillan website to do this blog, is that my neighbour (a cancer survivor) supports them and if all my friends, family, work colleagues all read this, then it will draw them to the site and perhaps encourage them to do something for the cause.

Apart from treating this as a form of therapy, I felt I needed to redress the balance a bit. A cancer survivor friend of my daughters said "Don't read about your disease on Google". So, yes, I immediately booted up the pc and started trawling through the statistics, pain filled experiences, deaths and it left me feeling so depressed I felt like giving up right there and then. I don't downplay any of it but wanted to write in a more hopefully cheerful way and just maybe now and again give someone something to smile at. I know they'll be highs and lows, tears etc along the way and it will be tough but I really do believe that being able to laugh as well as cry is as good a medicine as you can get.

Anyhow, I never blogged before so I hope this is not too awful. And the next time I write well it'll be the beginning of my journey .......

FormerMember over 14 years ago

hi sue

yes its funny how friends and family just seem to disappear into the woodwork when they realise the word cancer is to the fore i just wrote a blog the other day to vent my thoughts on exactly the same thing but hey the ones who do stick around are worth their weight in gold and i began to feel sorry for the ones who dont understand or dont try to so now i dont get upset their loss as i say yes ive got cancer but im still the same person !!!

its not going to be an easy journey the treatment isnt nice and the side effects get us down but keep smiling and laughing its the only way to get through this journey hun good luck with everything and we are all here when you feel down need a moan or just need to vent off steam

love and hugs jen xxxx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Sue,

Jen has said it all. Welcome to Macland. Your Blog was truthful and to the point.All the best and good luck.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Sue,

Sense of humour a must,crying a must,drinking tea at three in the morning talking things over a must.(it was me that had to make it) People dont know what to say after I was told I had cancer ,once I had phoned the kids and Debbie (my poor long suffering wife) phoned her family. I thought cant keep going through this again and again so I sent a text out.People could text back with out feeling I dont know want to say. You will find out your real pals now. Keep the sense of humour up

Hughx
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FormerMember over 14 years ago

Hi Sue - I've got a mate going through absolute hell at the moment - he has got kidney cancer and it's srunning riot all over his body - in his pelvis, chest, pancreas and liver. He lost one kidney and the other is 5% functioning. The hospital told him he only had twelve weeks without treatment and ten weeks later and he has only just started treatment. But out of all of this what upsets him the most is the number of so called mates who don't get in touch. The text him, email him and facebook him and say they will come and see him and no-one turns up. Five weeks in hospital after surgery and I only had one mate - who used to come in every day. Everyone else stayed away. I am chairman of the council and in my chairman's message published by the council I urged everyone to get checked for bowel cancer as early diagnosis is the key and a woman stopped me in the street and told me to stop being so embarrassing and couldn't I think of anyything better to write about. I kept sane - my blog is "The Demise of Roland Ratso, Rond's revenge and Roland Ratso - the aftermath which is on this site. That kept me sane and we had a couple of laughs on the way - but not everyone laughed. Just be you - and I am sure you will be.Laughter is the best medicine - keep up the good work

Keep smiling

love

Drew

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FormerMember over 14 years ago

I read your posts, and agree totally with the sentiments expressed in them. I do not have cancer, but my partner does. There is nothing which hurts me more than people just ignoring it "in case they upset me". I want people to recognise that it is difficult caring for someone you love who has cancer, and for whom the future is uncertain. We carers also need to talk about what we are going through. Some of my so called friends, colleagues at work, family etc never ask "How's Kenny doing", "How are you" or "can we come to visit" etc etc. It would make such a difference. I love to hear Drew saying keep smiling and laughter is the best medicine - it makes sense. I have friends who I have known for years who have distanced themselves from us - and I find it hard to accept that. Everyone needs support. You certainly know who your friends are at times like this. Do I sound like I'm on my soup box too?

Sheena xxxx
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