To add a selfish about me blog

I dont think you are being selfish, and think you should say how you are feeling, and if takes it forward then so be it, if not then at least he will think about it and you never know may well happen a bit sooner than you both thought, if he does not want to talk about it then you will have to respect that, but if he loves you am sure all will sort out.

Take care xx and good luck whatever you do xx

I am in the same situation, been with my OH for nearly 6 years and I have asked him if he would but he has alopecia with no hair at all and feels that is holding him back. I want to be angry but I just can't as I have to respect him. My dad would love to walk Me down the aisle and see my children but I don't see that happening.

Hi J,

OK a voice from the flip side huh !! Guys are banned from showing emotions or saying things like 'I love you' - we hide behind banter and taking the mick to protect our macho images - might get thrown out of the brotherhood for this so keep it to yourself please

Right you have been together for 2 years so be open and tell him your worries, do not push too hard or make it seem the sole reason for getting married is for your dads sake, just that its a natural progression to your relationship and would like it to happen while he can still  enjoy it.

Do not expect  him to drop on one knee and propose, remember the image we have to protect, but let the idea sink in and give him a few days before you mention it again.  Honest if marriage is on the cards anyway then he should see the logic of what you are asking.

Final ploy maybe ? warn him its Leap Year next year and if you have to propose you will tell all his mates in the pub he wimped out !! - Sorry for the light hearted answer and know its a serious question. maybe the most important message is tell him what you told us - think we all understand and what every way you look at it the motivation is love the love for two special men in your life.

Hugs Mate and hope it works out

John xx

Just to add my tuppence worth (I'm divorced by the way - so getting relationship advice from me is like getting a makeover from Boris Johnston!). For all you know, the OH may well be sitting thinking the same thing, and wondering if you'll think he's doing it out of sympathy if he asks now.

You won't know unless you speak to him, and communication is the key to a good relationship.  I know that much, I didn't speak to my ex for about a year before we separated...

All this is tough enough and you need to feel supported, even if he decides that now isn't the right time for him, it doesn't mean never.  In an ideal world, we all want our parents around for as long as possible and for dads, walking a daughter down the aisle is a big thing.  But it's not the only thing.  I'm sure if you asked him, he'd say the same as I do to my daughters.  I love you, I'm proud of you, I'm glad you're happy in your relationship and have someone you love.  If he gets to walk you down the aisle, it's the icing on the cake, but if he doesn't, he still has a daughter that loves him.  It's a win-win situation as far as he's concerned.

The question is, how would you feel if your OH, for whatever reason, said he wasn't ready right now?  If you don't think you can handle hearing that, I'd suggest you park it until you think you can deal with his response.  If you feel it's more important to know, either way, I suggest you get it off your chest.  Just explain you have a lot on your mind and that your dad's health is making you think a lot about this.  He loves you, he'll understand.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope it works out.

Love, Ann x

I agree with the others, you should talk to him and tell him your worries and see what he says, chances are he has thought about it but doesn't want to say because admitting it is almost like saying he thinks 'your dad is ill and he may not be around for years to come so we should do it now' if you know what I mean and he won't want to hurt you. Sharing your life experiences with your parents is something everyone should do but sadly we're finding out it doesn't always work out that way as we are finding out.  I don't have children, I have problems and following surgery last year means I will never conceive naturally and IVF is not an option for me and I am thinking now that I should do something so I have a mini dad for my future, how bad is that!

We're always here for you xx