How bad can this 'thing' get!

Hi Tricia................That is the whole point my love, you are doing the best you can. My man felt completely helpless when i was so ill because he couldn't 'fix' me, he could fix everything else but not me. I wish i could make things better for you but obviously I can't, keep posting on here love, we are all beside you and your man. Take care...love Carol x

Tricia,

i personally believe that they do not have answers for half the side effects of the treatment we are given and probably half of the side effects are unexpected - but they seem to be unprepared to accept their short comings in knowledge.

As for praying - do you think you would feel any better by not praying? My thoughts are no - so keep it going - and i'm not a praying person! It is the praying that gives you your strength and you need it now more than ever. My wife often felt so helpless and still does when i get a downer, but at least she knows that i appreciate her efforts.

A  friend of my wife's worked in a radiotherapy department and she had a view on how the body works that i rather like and gain comfort from. Her view was that in times of sickness the body shuts down all the unnecessary parts to concentrate more on healing itself which is why we often just want to sleep or lay around lethargically. Your husbands side effects are not pretty but they may be his body's way of trying to heal itself quicker! At the end of the day Chemo and Radiotherapy are designed to kill parts of the body- namely those that are cancerous and some of the surrounding area - then it is intended that the body replaces all the dead parts (good and bad) with good healthy parts only. How does our brain cope with the idea that it's "body" is under attack? Appears that your husbands brain is on overload and doesn't know which is left or right, up or down at the moment. So, when the body comes back to normal the brain should reset itself to normal operation as well.

Tricia, sounds to me like you are doing everything right.  If your husband has mets to the brain, perhaps you should take a look at the "we talk brain tumours" thread.  Lots of carers for folks at different stages of their journey - even a few of us "headcases" sign in occassionally.

Like Carol said, keep posting here......we are right behind you.

Love & Strength

Debs xx

everyone else has given you good advice.. .. all you can do is your best..

(((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) liz xxx

hi trisha ,

my husband had abrain op and i can understand your frustration ,i would try to explain some thing to Ian and he would not understand so like you i would change the subject.

All we can do is love them and be kind to our selves there is no manual to this journey so we do it on a wing and a prayer

all my love

sharonxx