seeing my son today.....

1 minute read time.

What I saw today will haunt me for life...my son, lying on a hospital bed, with tubes everywhere-he's on a bypass machine; something else is BREATHING for my son! He's 'paralised' from a 'drug induced coma', got something breathing for him, has got a  tube in neck, with about 6 attachments, tubes down throat, tummy, arms. A catheter. Something to aspirate the green fluids oin his tummy!!! Jeez..... Machine is doing everything for him, doing everything for him!!!!

My son had his eyes taped shut. He's not blinking-as he's in an induced coma, has septacemia, is neutropenic.....in intensive care at LOndon hosp, ( initially he was taken to our local hospital-they took him, after hours of trying to 'stabilise' him, so he could travel to London' today-he left about 7pm-ish in ambulance)I passed my hand holding his, to my mum....she'll be with him ") 

I have had to come home, I couldn't 'follow', as ambulance had blue lights on-....I'll be visiting him, up at london again, on ITU ward this time-there must be a cancer ITU, tomorrow. (Monday 21st march)... 

I suppose he's in the best hands, & he'll get one to one nursing...I wish I'd called the ambulance lastnight, when the shaking/cold started-8pm-ish-he was sick all night-plus bad guts, bad output from them!

Honstly, my son was the definition of 'tubes everywhere. He only had his hickman line taken out last Monday-now he's got one in his neck, looks like they had to cut  the skin to get to veins...it was awful.

My poor son, (I feel so much for him)- I was told by 3 different people at the hospital that "my son is very ill"....one doc even said X happening, could be a sign of his body 'closing down'.

I remain positive for my son-& pray to God, they can 'control' this infection...If he remain's like this for a while, I'm going to just stay up with him, sleep on chair if needs be. My bruv will 'look after my dog'-phew, good ol bruv-I've asked him already, so dog really is 'sorted'.

I pray that 'god' see's him through all this, & is with him all the time, healing his 'special' worn body.....& my mum/dad/angels, his angels-everyone!

My poor boy-he's 22 in june-was 19 when this disease was diagnosed-it's 'robbed so much of his life already-I pray he beats it now, at the last hurdle!

                                      

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    bloody hell....

    i have only just seen this post...

    awwww.....

    huge hugs from me to you and your son....

    sending loads of love for to you both..

    i so so hope your son will get better each day and he will be fine .....

    bloody hell i wish i lived near you.

    i cant even say my usual dont worry as worrying dont do any good and because i am worrying.....

    your bave i know that and so is your son...

    keep us up to date....

    hugs   xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    meant to have typed...

    your brave and so is your son...

    you look after yourself and try to get some rest when you can.....

    xxx  hugs

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    ive only just seen this too...my heart goes out to you (((((hugs))))) from one mum to another.

    Something very similar happened to my sister a few years ago.

    I am keeping you in my thoughts tonight..I hope so much that your dear son comes through this..

    Like Graeme says try to look after yourself too...I know you don`t feel like it but you must...for your son.

    warmest of hugs to you tonight

    love scarlet xxxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    I have just read your story about your sons journey with cancer, what a journey for one so young, but a mothers love got him thru the grauling treatment and his trust in that love gave him the courage to begin his life again.So with a heavy heart i read your latest blog and im so sorry for the pain you are going thru seeing your son so ill again, my heart goes out to both of you. Your faith and love got your son well before , so dont give up hope, everyone in macland will be sending you both the support and strength to get Thu the days ahead and i pray your son will be better soon.

    With Love And Hugs Lucylee. xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    He is in the best place for what he needs right now.  I truly hope that when you go back to see him they have some more encouraging/positive news about his condition.

    He has fought so hard the past few years he must be exhausted - as must you.

    Love & Strength

    Debs xx