See Above

Hi Rose, Colin, Pam, Julia, Joycee, Nic, Lins and anyone who posts later xx

First thanks one and all for your contributions to this discussion, there is room for all points of view, but somehow it looks like it strayed off  the subject that I originally wanted to highlight.

Just wanted to clarify a couple of points that seem either to have been missed or misinterpreted. I was not referring to the chat room and was not even aware there had been any unrest last night. I do not spend as much time in there as I did but always find it a warm, friendly and caring place with plenty of banter that people are prepared to stop in an instant when they become aware that someone needs a welcome or just a hug. More important is that the chat room is not usually the first place people go to the first time they join the Mac Site.

I agree 100% that there is a genuine need and place on the Site for humour, of all colours, Cancer is serious enough on its own and its great to come on the Mac Site and know that when you need your spirits lifted or just a wry smile you will find it, with like minded people who understand just how crap life can be at times but also enjoy a laugh, even at their own expense. Different from the 'Real World' where people may tiptoe around and never even mention the 'C' word. What may surprise them is we are still us and no reason we should not joke, even about Cancer, its side effects and treatment if that is the mood we are in.

I was trying to make just one fundamental point about the Site and I accept other people will have their own views. The Site is for the support of anyone suffering with Cancer but in my opinion if anyone deserves special consideration then it is the person who has just had probably the most devastating news that they or their loved ones will ever have to hear - Its Cancer !

As such there should be a point of contact when they sign in that does not appear to contain mainly humour, or as has been mentioned, a status followed by several lines of comments from others quite often in a light hearted vein.

Everyone has the right to post their status, humorous or otherwise and its great when friends can read and respond in support if they want, I am making the point it should not be the first impression that someone new, who is lost, hurting and maybe in shock should have to navigate their way through or be confronted with when they are looking for reassurance, advice and support that there can be life after Cancer.

Again thanks for all your contributions

Hugs John
xx

Well John,

I have been LOST, HURT, ALONE, LOST SOMEONE TO CANCER, HAD THAT DEVASTATING NEWS THAT I HAD CANCER, AND HAD SO MANY LOW POINTS THAT I COULD GO ON LISTING THEM FOR YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE, THAT WOULD HAVE ANYONE JUST STARTING OUT ON THIS JOURNEY RUNNING FOR THE HILLS, SO DOES THAT QUALIFY ME TO BE A MEMBER OF THIS SITE?

As for not being able to write something on my status that is non cancer related well that's the biggest load of rubbish ever and I for one will not stop supporting others on this site and giving someone the lift when others in their lives don't want to talk about cancer or are too scared to face this awful disease and walk away and leave them with nothing.

Yes there is a time and a place for all types of humour but I think we are all grown ups here and are able to judge when its right to use.

When I first came on this site I was in need of a friend and some good advice and people who had had cancer, that understood how I was feeling, there were a few people who approached me and helped me from becoming very low indeed and their " anal humour" as you guys call it still makes me laugh and gets me through the day, I did not get a welcome from any of the community champions.

So I am sorry if some of our posts take up space on the front page, but I thought it was all about a community!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruby500

Hi Pam,

Please don't change the way you are as a loving sensitive person. Just listen to criticism and if it's justified learn from it but don't let it upset you. If it isn't justified ignore it.

As they say, the only person who hasn't made a mistake has done nothing.

Big hugs xxx

Hi John,

 the home page on this site lists all the activities, often with the first few words. We are very concious of this in warped and try not to embarrass others in those first few lines; sometimes we get it wrong.

Very often someone who has just received the tragic news they have cancer are looking for friends who have gone through the same experience. Those messages of greeting and support in reply to a status, especially in a light hearted manner, generate that friendly air on the site. For that reason I don't believe we should shield newbies from that humour.

I suspect we will always disagree on that point, but one thing we will both agree on is the importance of identifying newbies and giving them support. I have always respected the way in which you do this and am proud to have you as one of my friends.

Colin

Colin

Hi all, I can't comment on whether the site should show status updates as per Facebook, that's up to the admin to decide....all I know is the status updates make me chuckle and it's easy to scroll past them if you're looking for a certain thread.

When I joined this site last year, the people using 'anal humour' were the first people to welcome me and point me in the right direction, a certain lady took the time to explain exactly how to get to the forum I needed (oesophageal).  Whenever I update my status she is always one of the first people to say good morning to me or give me a hug.  It makes me feel better to think that people are looking out for me and I really feel part of the Mac-family.  I've made some wonderful friends on here and don't know what I'd do without this site.  I have only ever experienced support and warmth from everyone on this site.

I can understand how some newbies may feel confused at first. However, if you look, the 'anal humour' team are ALWAYS the first people to welcome newbies and point them in the right direction.  I took time to read all of their profiles too.....they are people who are frightened, hurting and have very little reason to be cheerful at times.  However, they are getting through this awful ordeal as best they can, by using humour. 

This blog has made me think about newbies though and how I felt a year ago when Dad was diagnosed.  I will certainly look out for new people on my forum and will make sure I welcome them (as I was welcomed) and will do my best to point them in the right direction and support them.

I hope that people on here don't change their behaviour, if humour gets you through then who are we to criticise?  The problem may be with the layout of the site.  I agree that the old site was better, where you just saw the name of the blog / group but couldn't see any comments - maybe Admin want to have a think about this?

I (for one) enjoy the humour. I know it's not for everyone but it's got me through some very dark days.

xxxx Sarah xxx