ups and downs....where are our ups?????

Hi Pink Vicki, have your Dads doctors found out what cancer your Dad has,or

are they still guessing. This is a very scary time for you and your family,its

understandable the way you are feeling

and i expect your hubby knows you dont mean to push him away. All this confusion

with your dads illness and the not knowing whats going to happen or why

your dad is even worse after starting

treatment is a battle in your head. You

need to get the truth about whats going on with your dad, hopefully more test will

give you the answer soon.

With Love Lucylee. xx

dont know what chemo your dads on and theres so many different ones all with different strengths of side effects....i do know this that one minute we can look well out of it, but then when the side effects wear off we can look much better.......so maybe your dad might bounce back and look much better in a few days or so....as i say i dont know about your dads chemo ect so its hard to say....just that i have looked really bad and no been able to walk, had to be pushed about in a wheelchair...but a week or so later i was out walking on the beach...if your dads only just had his chemo that could be why he is not so well....

as for the ups....again i can only talk of people i know and myself...but the up times come when the chemo is wearing off....on good days...and often just out of the blue....a visitor....a meeting with a new friend...some good news from the specialists...getiing home after been in hospital and often when we least expect it something good happens...

i hope you and your dad / family have lots of up times in the months ahead...all we can do is hope and try to stay posative...

sometimes if we worryy to much then the ups are harder to come....

but its the same thing...that everyone is different...different chemos....different cancers...different situations....different outcomes....different reactions to chemo...so many things that its hard to have a whats normal question or answer...

we just have to hope for good times among the bad times....though things have been shitty for me at times i still think iv had loads of laughs and lots of good times with more to come....i look for something good out of everything that happens....

but again..its different...we are all different...

but i sure hope you will have some good times....

lets hope your dad picks up soon.....

xx

Thanks guys and yes at the moment they are still guessing. I'm not sure of the new chemo names but the one he had 2 weeks ago that it turned out he was allergic to was cisplatin which apparently is the best but now he can't have it so on thursday if he is well enough they are trying the next best one????

I am abit concerned though that he is going to refuse it as he has somehow managed to get an urgent appt to see his oncologist on monday to discuss the chemo and he has also arranged for the councillor to come to the house on tuesday. Hope its just a routine thing for him and not that he is having doubts about fighting this!!

They have kept him in tonight he is still on a drip and in isolation. (not sure why but assuming its to prevent him picking anything up!)  fingers crossed he'll be much better tomorrow.

Love to you all. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Mum just called and said dad looks 100x better than this morning the drip is doing its job!

Apparently he is comfy and enjoying his private room with en suite and tv. Now they just need to get him eating  and keeping it down. to you all. xxxx

p.s I would just like to thanks all of you wonderful people on here for your support..........i don't know how i'd be getting through all of this without you. x

Hi Pink Vicki, I have only just come onto the site but it seems like you have had a rough weekend, but the last message seems a bit better and hopefully your dad will continue to perk up and they can get him eating and building up strength.  Like you I have wondered where the good times are but I think we learn to take small blessings and live day by day.  I do hope that you have some good moments and they come soon for you and your family.  This journey can be so hard and I think we push the ones away that we love the most and lash out at them because they will love us regardless.  I am sure your husband knows that this is a really, really difficult time for you and there are so many emotions that you are dealing with.  You are looking after your dad and your mum, trying to be strong yet needing someone to protect you sometimes.  It is very hard.  I have a wall that I need to put up sometimes but at other times I need a big hug and a shoulder from my husband, I am sure that he must find this very confussing but he just seems to accept that these are strange circumstances and there is no right or wrong just how we feel.

I really hope things continue to improve, take care Becky xxx